Eating Crow

Tobermory and I have had a particularly stressful few months which gave me a bad case of what I have discovered is called “writer’s block”.

 

It all started in September.  Mummy and Daddy appeared to be plotting with one of their friends who kept stopping by with lots of pieces of paper for them to put their paw prints on.  Next, a big white box arrived.  A female human accompanied it who had the audacity to tell Mummy to shut us in the kitchen and “remove all trace of dog”.  This made me very suspicious and it turned out to be with good reason.  She persuaded some of the weaker minded pieces of furniture in our kennel to climb inside the white box, including my sleeping hutch which was the ultimate betrayal.  The box then ran away with all of them inside.

 

The next few weeks were a blur.  There was talk of different humans taking over occupancy of our kennel.   We’ve only known one kennel and no one explained to us how this works.  I’m sure you can understand the mental anguish it created.  There was a general atmosphere of unrest.  We weren’t allowed to practice the art of sofa restraint, the talking box would ring and our humans would run around beating the cushions on the sofas and beds.  They would then trick us into thinking that they were taking us for a neighborhood sniff, but all we did was sit outside the kennel at the end of the road that sells warm, brown waking up juice.  They seemed to be drinking a lot more of it than usual and Tobermory and I were getting very concerned that we were dealing with an addiction problem.

 

You have to understand that in the 38 dog years that I have been protecting our humans, they have been pretty predictable.  I have always felt confident in trusting the decisions they make that affect our lives, but this new behavior we were observing was very disturbing and I was beginning to doubt their judgment.  It now transpires that all these actions were actually planned and were for the good of all of us.  After spending a day with some of our favorite human neighbors who bake nice treats for us, our humans came to get us in the motorized dog carrier and took us to a new kennel, and there was all our furniture including my sleeping hutch.  It said it had been on vacation.

 

We now live in a smaller kennel which significantly reduces the security work load.  The best part is that it’s possible to multi-task by monitoring all entries while practicing the art of sofa restraint.  Mummy says that I now have to eat a crow for doubting her, although I fail to understand why that’s a punishment.  The ones around here look pretty fat and tasty.

Talisker