Cows with Long Fur

I like cows.  I’ve never met one but they look really friendly on the writing box.  There are supposed to be a lot of them in Sonoma so when we were last there I tried really hard to find one to bring home but I think they must have all been hiding.

Our humans have just returned from chasing the evil black boxes with wheels.   Mummy always takes a lot of pictures so that we can see where they’ve been.  They met lots of cows and it would appear that they come in different shapes and sizes.

The first pictures were of the land where there are funny little plants with 3 leaves and the humans are very small and wear green.  The cows there look pretty much the same as the ones I’ve seen pictures of in Sonoma, however in the land where male humans wear skirts they look completely different.  They have really long fur and the big cows don’t seem to have any eyes.  I really like the little ones.  I couldn’t see from the picture of one what the price tag in its ear said, but it must have been really expensive or I’m sure Mummy would have brought it back to our kennel for me.

Tobermory

Neglect

We’re feeling just a little neglected.  Mummy has been too busy to give us the attention we’re used to.  It started in May.  My big brother, Bowmore told me that 10 years ago her brain fell out.  They must have managed to put it back because it seems to work pretty well now.  She likes to help other humans whose brains fell out and May is the month when she is particularly busy with that task.  I admire her for her dedication, but it’s extremely difficult to get any attention from her and dramatically reduces our neighborhood sniff time which is particularly important if we are to conduct our security duties effectively.  She also takes her writing box with her which has seriously stifled our creativity.

The neglect didn’t stop there.  As soon as she’d finished with her brain falling out stuff, the evil black boxes with wheels came out.  Tobermory hadn’t seen them before so I had to explain that their sole purpose in life is to steal our humans’ body covers and run away with them.  They are very difficult to catch and it takes a long time to bring them back to the kennel so other humans have to take care of us while ours are away.

Tobermory suggested a blocking tactic.  He seemed to think that if we spread out on the viewing platform on the stairs, the black boxes wouldn’t be able to get to the door.  I thought it worth a try, but then a nice human stopped by and offered to take us for a sniff.  Having not been able to perform this important task much for a while, we of course jumped at the opportunity.  Big mistake.  When we got back, the evil black boxes were gone and our humans had obviously chased after them.

I think I may have found a solution to this problem for the future.  We have collars that bite us when we go too far from the kennel without our humans.  If they put those collars on the black boxes, it would stop them from escaping and then our humans wouldn’t have to leave us to chase after them.

Talisker

Birthday Parties are Fun

Last week we had a really fun gathering at our kennel.  I have not been able to stop wagging my tail in anticipation of telling everyone about it, but Mummy’s writing box came back from rehab and seemed to have forgotten how to do everything.  She says it’s really clean but had to go through some intensive retraining before it could help me write.

The gathering was to celebrate Talisker turning four human years.  It’s called a Birthday Party.  He invited lots of really cool dudes to play fetch and run races around our garden.  I’ve met some of them before.  Talisker’s BFF, Truman came along with our swimming friends, Pumbaa and Austin.  We also made some new friends, Denim, Raiden and Rusty.  They’re fish retrievers like us.  We know their humans because they have a falling over juice kennel called Testarossa that our humans like to hang out at.  I like their crackers.

Talisker insisted on inviting some girls, Baby G, Layla and Olive.  I did try to have a conversation with Olive but she was only interested on talking about lame girl stuff with Layla.  Baby G however, was particularly keen on playing fetch with us but got a little demanding when we didn’t give her the ball.  Talisker says girls can be like that.  I don’t know why he likes them but he says I’ll understand when I’m older.

I want to have a Birthday Party too, but Mummy says I have to wait until I turn one which is really unfair.  That’s a whole four months away.

Tobermory

Tobermory's First Swimming Lesson

Last Saturday was a particularly hot day and my friends, Austin and Pumbaa kindly invited us over to cool off in their hole in the ground with water.

It’s a rite of passage of every fish retriever to learn to swim, so it was a little nostalgic taking my little brother for his first lesson at the place where I started.  Austin and Pumbaa were kind enough to leave us alone until Tobermory got his water legs.

I’m really proud of that kid.  I had human help from Austin and Pumbaa’s human brother when I learnt to swim, but Daddy just dropped Tobermory in the water and he got it straight away.  I of course had to give him a few pointers on floating frisby retrieval and most importantly some tips on diving technique but he shows all the signs of being a natural.

We finished the day with Pumbaa joining us in the water while Bowmore’s old friend, Austin gave us a few tips on formation swimming.

Talisker

They made it go to rehab and it went ...

Mummy and Daddy have had writing boxes in the past that have experimented with falling over juice and they have learnt that it really isn’t very good for them, but Daddy has always managed to stage an intervention early before the problem got too bad and got them dried out.  This is a term also used for humans who have a problem with falling over juice.

My research has shown that famous, beautiful looking humans seem to be prone to falling over juice problems which is why I was not surprised when Mummy’s new writing box fell victim to this affliction as it is particularly sleek and shiny.  It hit rock bottom last week.

Tobermory and I were relaxing with Daddy in his writing box room when we heard a shriek from Mummy.  Her writing box had consumed her entire glass of falling over juice.  I think she was annoyed because she hadn’t tried any of it herself and we all know that writing boxes just don’t appreciate good falling over juice.

Daddy leapt into action to commence the drying out process but after a couple of days decided that it needed professional help and should be sent to rehab.  It must have been feeling really sick because it showed absolutely no resistance when Mummy put it in a writing box carrier and sent it on its way.

In the meantime, Mummy went to visit the writing box retirement home in our kennel to see if one would help her out for a couple of weeks.  Quite a few of them live there.  They spend their days sleeping and reading old National Geographics’.

One writing box did volunteer for the job and I would like to say that it did it willingly, but man, is that guy causing problems.  It refuses to do anything the way we do it now and goes on strike and refuses to work at all at regular intervals.  I hope Mummy’s writing box comes back from rehab soon because my ears are starting to hurt from listening to the fights she’s having with this old dude.

Talisker

Ear Maintenance

Mummy has a sore ear. I know all about sore ears and the key to avoiding this problem is good ear maintenance.  Regular cleaning is the key and Daddy is particularly good at it.  I lie on the sofa and Mummy holds my nose still while he pours special juice in each ear and then he pulls the flap over and gives it a rub.  After this I sit up and give my head a good shake to bring the sore making stuff up to where Daddy can help little sticks with fluffy tips grab it.

The secret is definitely in the shake and this is where humans are at a disadvantage.  If Mummy lay on the sofa so that Daddy could administer the special juice and then had big flappy ears to shake, it would definately help her ear problem.  Of course, trying to hold onto a little human nose to keep her still could be a bit of an issue.

Talisker

Mr Dandy Lion

Today Mummy took a spikey stick out to our garden and started digging up plants with fluffy tops.  Talisker says she always does that when it’s warm outside and is waging war on a lion called Dandy.

I didn’t know what a lion was so did a little research on the writing box and discovered that it is a really big cat that likes to eat puppies like me, but I couldn’t find any mention of why digging up little plants with fluffy tops would scare one away.  I can only assume that Mr Dandy Lion likes them and Mummy is protecting me by removing them so that he has no reason to come here.

Tobermory