Bugs

Mummy’s been particularly lazy for the last couple of days.  She’s spending longer than usual under the bird fur in the morning and then gets back under it as soon as she’s finished her dinner.  She says she has a bug inside her.  I don’t understand why that should make her lethargic.  Tobermory eats bugs all the time so must have lots inside him and I haven’t noticed any decrease in his energy level.  I think Mummy is really making excuses for consuming too much of the big bird that we thanked for letting us eat it last Thursday.  We all felt sleepy after that.

Talisker

The Forever Collar

Today I got my “forever” collar.  It’s really cool.  It’s made of cow skin and looks just like Talisker’s.  He says it’s a privilege to be given this special collar.  It means our humans have decided it’s time for me to be a trusted member of the family.  He did, however, give me a list of things that this trust entails:

1.       No more grabbing Mummy’s socks out of her running shoes and making her chase me around the house for them.

2.       No more digging holes in the green stuff that covers the garden.

3.       No more eating base boards or windowsills.

4.       No more shouting in the morning when I’m bored and want the humans to get out of their bird fur and come and play with me.

5.       No more eating bits of the motorized dog carriers.

6.       No more eating Mummy’s plants.

In my defense I would like to address each of these:

1.       Sock chasing is a game and Mummy obviously enjoys it.  You can tell this by the squeals she makes while she’s chasing me.

2.       There are evil things under the green stuff in the garden and I am merely attempting catch and destroy tactics to protect our humans from them.  I have to admit that I have not had much success, but I know they’re down there.

3.       If the humans gave me more elk horns, I wouldn’t need to eat the kennel.

4.       Oh come on … they sleep way too long.

5.       Please see answer 3.

6.       They taste good, so what’s your point.

I think I’ve defended myself adequately.  Do I get to keep the cow skin collar?

Tobermory

Cold Trees

it’s getting cold outside our kennel and the sun has started going to bed early.    Our coats are getting thicker to keep us warm, but humans aren’t very furry so they have to wear body covers made of sheep fur.

 

There is one thing that concerns me.  The fur on some of the trees in our garden is turning from green to brown and they have started shedding.  I asked Talisker if they would be growing thicker coats like us to keep them warm.  He told me they have gone to sleep until the sun has decided to stay up later again and don’t need fur when they’re asleep.  This doesn’t make sense to me as I need my fur to keep me warm when I sleep.  I’m worried that the trees are going to get cold.

Tobermory

The Art of Begging

Every year, there is one day when our humans like to humiliate us by dressing us up in silly outfits and making us walk around town with other dogs who are also being subjected to the same indignity.  This year was no exception and I did of course, inform Mummy precisely what I thought of putting us through this torture.  Tobermory didn’t seem to be too disturbed by it, but he wasn’t made to wear wings and a halo.  He was at least kind enough to help me remove the halo and eat it when our humans weren’t watching.

 A couple of days later, human puppies dress up in disguises and when the sun has gone to bed, they visit other kennels in their neighborhood and beg for treats.  It always amazes me how successful they are when I observe their lack of begging skill.

The art of a good beg is to get humans to give you food without apparently asking for it.  Human puppies seem to have success by using intimidation tactics.  They travel in packs and threaten to do bad things to the adult humans if they don’t get treats.  I feel there are some double standards in operation here.  If Tobermory and I used a tactic like that, not only would we get no treats, but we would very quickly find ourselves shut in the kitchen on a time out.

Talisker