Monday, September 5, 2016

It's OK to Gnaw Cell Phones

Just lately, Mummy has been spending a lot of time with her writing box and then takes it with her when she leaves the kennel.  This has made it particularly difficult for me to keep up with current affairs.  However, I have worked out that she spends all Friday morning outside decapitating plants before the guy with the big blowing machine comes.  I know what you’re thinking … isn’t the guy with the big blowing machine supposed to do that?  Don’t tell her or I may lose my little bit of writing box time.

Last Friday while Mummy was decapitating plants, I discovered a piece of research.  Did you know that it’s really unhygienic to kiss humans?  They have 1½ times more nasty stuff in their mouths than dogs.  I think we’re OK though.  Our humans spend a lot of time pulling pieces of string through their teeth and scrubbing them with humming brushes.

The next statistic … dog bowls are less hygienic than the prongy things humans use to move food from their plates to their mouths.  I’m not sure where they got the data from, but we have lots of bowls and Mummy puts them in the automatic bowl washing box every day with all the human feeding utensils, so again, I think we’re safe there.

Now, the last statistic is very interesting.  Dog toys have way more nasty stuff on them than human toys.  This one I can believe.  Tobermory regularly leaves our toys outside in the garden but our humans usually keep their mobile talking boxes in the protective environment of the pouches in their body covers.  This research suggests that if I have an urge for a really good gnaw, it would be much better for my health if I sink my teeth into one of our humans’ mobile talking boxes.
Talisker

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