I Want a Mouse

Last week we went on an adventure.  Daddy strapped boards to the top of his motorized dog carrier and drove it up hills for a long time until we saw white fluffy stuff.  Of course, we had to stop half way to feed Mummy a bun with dead cow and cheese in the middle.  She gets really grumpy when she’s hungry.

 

 

There didn’t seem to be much white fluffy stuff when we got there but at least we got rewarded for our patience with a long run on a big field where humans hit little white balls with long sticks when it’s warm outside.  However, we didn’t get deprived of our white romping.  The next day lots of white fluffy stuff fell out of the sky … man, is that stuff fun!
 

We stayed with our humans in a little kennel with a mouse living in it.  Daddy says he’s called George.  I tried to introduce myself and interest him in a game of chase, but he was really shy and kept hiding under the sofa.  I even tried to stay up at night when he seemed to like roaming around to convince him to be my friend, but all that running in the mountain air is pretty tiring and I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

 

When our humans weren’t sliding down hills on boards, another human joined us in the motorized dog carrier, holding a pile of papers with pictures on.  We drove to lots of kennels and had to sit quietly while they went inside.  I’ve seen them do this when they go to falling over juice kennels in Sonoma, but they’re usually inside for much longer and mostly we get to join them.  Talisker said he wasn’t really sure, but he’d read on the writing box about something humans do when they’re looking for new kennels called “viewings” and he thought that was what ours were up to.  If that’s what they’re really doing, I think we should have a little input too.  I'm not demanding and have only one request.  I want one with a mouse like George, only less shy and more willing to play chase with me.

Tobermory

Giant Worms

Our humans just returned from a visit to the land they came from.  I always get worried when they’re out of our site.  Humans are just not good at taking care of themselves without canine help.  Since they leave their motorized dog carriers outside our kennel, I worry that they may not be able to transport themselves around and most important of all, get to the flying metal tube that brings them home to us.

 

I expressed this concern to Daddy on their return.  He assured me that this is not an issue as they travel under the ground in tunnels that take them straight to the flying metal tubes.  This seemed a little improbably to me, so I used my usual source for research on strange human behavior, Mummy’s writing box.

 

Do you know that Daddy is actually correct?  There are lots of giant worms in London where some of Mummy and Daddy’s litter mates live.  They call themselves “The Tube” and give rides to lots of humans in their worm tunnels.  I’m a little confused about how these worms survive.  Everyone knows that worms eat earth, but these worms are moving through tunnels they have already dug.  All that the humans feed them are little pieces of paper every time the worms give them a ride and I know paper has very little nutritional value.  Tobermory eats it all the time and still has room for his dinner.

Talisker

Cow Racing

We're in Sonoma. Talisker says we're here so that our humans can test different falling over juices to see if they work, but I know why we're really here ... we're looking for cows.  This is a particularly good place to find them and right now the whole place smells of them too.  Talisker says it's because at this time of year, the sticks that grow the little round things that falling over juice is made from eat cow poo.

 

In a place like Sonoma where there are so many cows, humans have obviously had to look at alternative uses for them other than the traditional ones.  We passed a place called Sonoma Raceway where they obviously hold cow races.  I know this because there's a model of a racing cow attached to the sign.

 

I like cows and I’ve always wanted a pet one, but I now think it would be really cool to have a racing cow.  Mummy doesn’t share my enthusiasm.  Daddy says she had lots of cows when she was a puppy so it’s particularly selfish of her not to let me have just one.

 

Of course, visiting the Three Dog Bakery for peanut butter cookies does help to relieve all kinds of disappointment.

 

Tobermory

Beetles

Last night we watched a very interesting story on the moving picture frame on the wall.  It was about 4 humans coming to this land 50 human years ago who thought they were beetles.  The only similarity I could see between them and beetles is that they had skinny black legs, but they only had 2 each.  Everyone knows that beetles have 6 legs, especially Tobermory who likes to chase them.  Real beetles are also pretty quiet, but these ones howled really loudly accompanied by lots of young female humans who howled even louder.

 

Two of these “Beetles” who are now really old stood on a platform to howl.  Our humans seemed to really enjoy watching them which I couldn’t understand until one started to jump around, howling that we all live in a yellow submarine.  I have to admit that watching this level of human disillusionment is pretty funny.



Talisker

Job Sharing

As you all know, a very important part of my job as Head of Security is to continually broaden my base of knowledge of human behavior.

I recently learnt about a new habit that some humans like to participate in called “job sharing”.  Two humans will do the same job that one could, one working hard but for half the day and another working hard for the other half of the day.  This is supposed to make their lives easier but I think they’ve got it all wrong.

Tobermory and I have been job sharing for some time.  We both hold the sofa down whilst each monitoring separate entrances to the kennel.  It would be possible for one of us to hold down the sofa and monitor both entrances at the same time and swap places in the middle of the day, but the working part of the day would be far more stressful and very lonely.

Talisker

Truman's Ball Room

We went to play fetch with our BFF (Best Fetching Friend), Truman this weekend.  His humans have removed all the insides from their cooking room and made it bigger.  His Daddy calls it “The Ball Room”.  Truman says they did it especially for him so that he can play fetch after the sun has gone to bed.

 

While we were playing, some humans were playing their own game of fetch on the moving picture on the wall.  49 of them came from our area.  They’re usually pretty good at the game, but didn’t win this time.  I think it’s because they don’t have a ball room like Truman so that they can continue to perfect their art when it's too dark to do it outside.

Talisker

Spare the Hair

It's important to follow the lessons learnt from your mentors, and Bowmore taught me the importance of spending time researching humans and their habitats to help us perform our security duties to the fullest extent.  In my studies, it has become apparent that most of their kennels have holes in the wall with fire.

 

In the kennel that Tobermory and I grew up in, our humans would press a button and the fire would start immediately.  The one in our new kennel seems to be far more demanding.  It refuses to do its job until they feed it bits of dead tree, and even then it takes its time to wake up and seems to demand constant feeding to continue to work.  In my opinion it’s pretty high maintenance, but I have to admit that it does an extremely good job of warming my fur.

 

Our humans appear to be quite happy dealing with this hole in the wall with fire’s demands, but I find its work ethic a little questionable.   We seem to have a lot of days, today being one of them, when our humans don’t even try to wake it up.  Mummy says it’s because it’s a “Spare the Hair” day.  I don’t know whose hair it thinks it saving, but my hair is being deprived by not being kept warm.

Talisker