Talisker Turns 5

Talisker turned 5 human years last week.  This is a big deal for a dog.  Mummy’s parents understand this so travelled all the way from the far away land they live in on a flying metal tube in recognition of this milestone.  I invited lots of our friends to help celebrate and Mummy made a cake with orange vegetables and nut butter in it.   This is a different kind of butter from the stuff she puts on her crispy bread in the morning.  That’s cow butter and not nearly as tasty.

The cake is really good, but the best part is the cheese from small human kennels that Mummy puts on top of it.  Our humans get it all over their paws while they’re giving the cake to us so we have to clean them off.  Humans are pretty tasty to lick but when they are covered in small human kennel cheese, human licking is a completely different experience.

Tobermory

Extravagant Gifts

For some time, Truman’s humans have been replacing lots of the old pieces of their kennel with new and improved ones.  He’s been making himself useful, helping the humans doing the replacing while his have been out earning dog biscuits to pay them however, last week his offers of help were shunned.  Not even his humans were allowed to stay at their kennel so they all slept in ours.

 

Every day we go for a neighborhood sniff with our humans to keep them exercised.  As hospitable hosts, we of course invited Truman to join us.  He’s been working very hard as a human feeding bowl pre-washer and expressed interest in finding a gift for his humans while we were out.  He believed that he had earned enough dog biscuits to find something nice and shiny and new for them and wanted us to help him find something suitable.

 

We sniffed our way past lots of kennels offering shiny new things but none of them caught Truman’s eye until we came to a big sign with “Bentley” written on it.  There were lots of really shiny motorized dog carriers behind it and he decided that this was what he wanted to get for his humans.

 

Now, I don’t know what Truman has been sniffing, but whatever is in the new pieces of his kennel have seriously affected his grasp on reality.  Have you seen the sticker price of all those motorized dog carriers behind the Bentley sign?  He’s going to have to lick a lot more human feeding bowls before he can even buy a picture of the little wings on the front of one of those things.

 

Talisker



Poor Judgment

As Chief of Security in this kennel, it is my job with the aid of Tobermory to ensure the safety of our humans at all times.  It always concerns me when they go away without us but they seem to return unscathed.  I have therefore in the past been of the opinion that they must be sensible about only going to places that are safe for humans without their security detail.

 

Last week we went for a play date at Truman's kennel which turned into a sleepover.  This is always a telltale sign that our humans have decided to go on an adventure on their own.  I tried not to worry and was relieved when they returned safely, although I have to admit to being a little indignant when I saw the boards strapped to the top of the motorized dog carrier.  They had obviously snuck off to slide down hills covered in white slippy stuff without considering that we might want to play in it too.

 

On their way home, our humans stopped to slide down some big hills at a place called Kirkwood.  Sliding down slippy stuff can be very hazardous so I was upset with them that not only did they go there without our supervision, but also that it was a place unknown to us.  There's a reason why we have such big noses.  It’s so that we can run proper security sweeps which humans just can’t do with their little noses.   You’d think they might have worked out the true purpose of our daily neighborhood sniffs by now, especially Mummy who has had a canine security detail her entire life.

 

I was checking through the pictures on Mummy’s picture box to see if I could see any evidence of potential hazards when I saw a picture of a sign stating “Dogs, keep your owners on a leash.”  Firstly, we take care of our humans so it is obvious that we own them and not the other way around.  Secondly, I now seriously question their judgment when they walked straight past such a blatant warning that it was unsafe for them to be there without canine protection.

Talisker