Martley Hall Stud – the hot UK vacation spot for horses

Last month Mummy went on an adventure on her own for seven whole days and left us alone with Daddy.  I didn’t like it.  How can we perform our security duties properly if the family unit is not in the same place?  Daddy obviously didn’t have enough to do without her around, so I helped him out by only eating breakfast when he spoon-fed it to me to take up a little of his morning time.

Now, I know what you’re thinking … where did Mummy go?  She’s done this twice since I started studying security protocol under Tobermory.  I decided I need to know more about these adventures and her writing box seemed the obvious place to start my investigations.  I was in luck.  She keeps details of everywhere that she goes on it.

I’ve learnt that Mummy travels in a flying metal tube to go and visit her litter mate and her pack in the land where she was whelped.  To my relief I found out that there’s a pretty tight security detail protecting them, so my concerns for her safety were unfounded.  They all live on a special horse resort called Martley Hall Stud where very fast horses go for vacations or to rest and be pampered before and after they have their puppies.  I’ve never seen a horse puppy.  I checked Mummy’s picture box, and sure enough, here’s a picture of horse puppies, although Tobermory did correct me … horse puppies are called foals.  I don’t understand why they have such long, skinny legs.  When I was a puppy, I had short, fat legs

Arran

The Last of the Three Amigos

It was a sad day today.  My old friend, Truman went to join my dearly departed brother Talisker.  He was his BFF and I’ve known him my whole life.  We went on adventures together, accompanying our humans and sampling the local bread while they tested falling over juice, we watched them slide down white slippy stuff with boards attached to their paws and had sleepovers at each other’s kennels.

Truman and Talisker are back together on an adventure in a place where the rabbits are slow and fat, the frisbees and balls plentiful.  I am now the last of THE THREE AMIGOS.

Tobermory

What do you call a baby goose?

When Mummy goes on her weekly foraging trip for human kibble, on the way she drops us off with Daddy at a huge field with a big hole in the ground with water in the middle of it.  It’s one of our favorite places to go for a sniff.  We meet other security details out exercising their humans and lots of big birds called geese vacationing there, visiting from a cold place in the north.

Recently on one of these outings, the big birds were accompanied by groups of baby birds thatlooked like fluffy yellow balls with legs.  Tobermory says they’re called goslings.  That doesn’t make much sense to me.  Everyone knows that more than one goose are called geese and not gooses, so shouldn’t more than one gosling be geesling?  If Tobermory is correct, then maybe I’m really a dogling and not a puppy.

Arran

Extra Leggs shown to help old dogs

I love my new Dog Leggs.  I know what you’re thinking, I’m a dog and already have legs, four of them and of course I love them.  I use them to catch toys when amusing the humans with a game of fetch and of course when we take them out for our neighborhood sniffs.

Dog Leggs are not to be confused with the four you are familiar with.  When it’s warm outside, I like to nap on the cool floor, but as I’ve got older it makes my elbows sore.  I used to spend a lot of time visiting our doctor to have the sore bits made better after dirt from the ground made them leak, but not anymore.  She said she’d let Mummy in on a new trick for old dogs… Dog Leggs.  They keep the evil dirty stuff out with the added advantage that they look really cool so other humans always stop ours to give me some love and ask about them.  Arran likes to be the center of attention so of course wants some too.  I told him you get them as a privilege of age.

Tobermory

Only the best for my Lady

Our breed is renowned for many things.  One is that our descendants were Canadian fish retrievers and another is that we will eat pretty much anything.  Daddy calls us Ice-Chest Retrievers.

I have a girlfriend, Lady.  I’m her toy-boy … she’s 3 years older than me, but pretty hot for her age.  I get to see her most weekends when our humans gather to enjoy falling over juice at TestarossaWinery.  There are always lots of good snacks on hand, Milkbones that the humans who pour the falling over juice keep in the pockets of their body covers and crackers on the plate of human treats made from cow and goat juice.

Now, you’d think that Lady as a member of the Jack Russell Terrier breed, known for their hunting prowess would join us in indulging in these culinary delights, but oh no … she says the secret to her girlish figure is only eating healthy food cooked by her Mummy.  She won’t even drink out of our water bowl (if you saw the amount of slobber my messy drinking brother, Arran leaves behind, that is maybe understandable).  She will only drink out of the cooling bucket for her humans’ falling over juice.  She claims it’s the perfect temperature to maintain her complexion.

Tobermory

Charity Begins at Home

We are lucky to have good humans who like to help others less fortunate than themselves.

This weekend they are involved with a team of organizers in something called a fundraiser.  Before the human biting problem when they had to wear muzzles, this was a common occurrence.  They get all consumed for days beforehand.  All Mummy does is play with her writing box and catch pieces of paper that the machine next to it throws out.

There is a human expression that I learned, “Charity Begins a Home”, and I must admit that I have been guilty of thinking that our humans should not be neglecting us by reducing their time taking us for neighborhood sniffs.  That is until today.

I heard Mummy talking about the local human groups that their fundraiser will be benefitting, JW House, Life ServicesAlternatives, Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence, Saint Patrick School, StartingArts, St. Louise Regional Hospital and Sunnyvale Community Services.

I take It back.  Charity does begin at home, but it takes good humans to make sure that it happens in all their homes and we’re happy to forego a few neighborhood sniffs to help many humans, even if we don’t know them.

Tobermory

Wiggling Humans

Humans need to be exercised and Tobermory has taught me that they are very compliant if there's a reward at the end.

Last Thursday we took Daddy on our sniff up a hill to his favorite falling over juice kennel, Testarossa.  Tobermory said we were going there so the humans could listen to something called music.  Mummy was waiting at the top with a big bowl of iced water for us, and a bottle of water with bubbles and a glass of falling over juice for Daddy.

In front of the other humans drinking falling over juice, was a female howling while the male standing next to her pulled strings on a box that made noises.  Some of the humans got out of their seats and started wiggling their bodies which was really funny to watch.  I couldn’t understand why Tobermory wasn’t laughing too.  He said he’d seen it many times before as it was a common occurrence in the olden days before the human biting epidemic when they were only allowed out of their kennels wearing muzzles, but now I can look forward to watching humans wiggle at Testarossa every Thursday until the sun starts to go to bed early.

When I see something new, I like to do a little research on Mummy’s writing box, and I was interested to find out what you call humans who howl to the noise that comes from boxes with strings.  Did you know that snakes climb out of baskets and wiggle when humans blow through hollow sticks that make noises?  They’re called Snake Charmers.  Since the howling human and the one pulling strings made humans wiggle, I guess that would mean they are called Human Charmers.

Arran