Criminal Control

Our humans have always misunderstood my motives for digging holes in the green stuff in the garden.  They think I do it just for fun and I keep telling them I hear creatures underneath which could be threatening their welfare.
 
At last I have proof.  One of these creatures had the audacity to come to the surface.  I saw him but couldn’t get there in time to do the collar, as they say on the moving picture frame on the wall.  There’s a really cool story I like to watch called “Law and Order” about good humans catching bad humans so I know the lingo.
 
Talisker and I dragged Mummy outside to show her the evidence.  As any good detective would do, she showed me pictures of potential culprits on her writing box and I identified one called Gopher.  Just like the stories on the moving picture frame on the wall, she offered either one of us a special reward if we could bring Gopher to her, dead or alive.
 
I would really like to earn that reward, but Mummy is in a hurry to catch the guy so has hired a human with special tracking skills to find this criminal.  Talisker says it’s specialist work and I should just stand back, watch and learn, but I’m not letting my guard down.  If that little guy pokes his nose out in my site, I’m going to make him pay for messing with Mummy’s garden.

Tobermory

A Slippy Education

In order to properly care for humans, it is important in any young pup’s education to experience at first hand as much as possible of the strange things that humans do to amuse themselves.  One of the strangest ones that I have observed is their desire to ride up hills covered in white slippy stuff on moving sofas and then slide down them with boards strapped to their feet.

 

White slippy stuff is exhilarating to play in for us too, so when I saw Daddy putting the boards on top of the motorized dog carrier, I felt it would be more fun for Tobermory if I didn’t fill him in as to what was in store.  Your first experience of white slippy stuff is one you never forget.

 

I regretted my decision as soon as the motorized dog carrier started to go up and the ground turned white.  I had been hoping to catch up on some sleep, but Tobermory kept climbing on and off the bags of human body covers to get a better view and repeatedly said “Man, you gotta see this.  It’s way cool”.  I had to listen to his incessant whining and endure his constant wriggling for 2 very long hours.

 

Our friend, Truman and his humans joined us.  Can you believe that he is 3 human years old and hadn’t seen white slippy stuff yet?  His Mummy doesn’t like sliding down hills and prefers to watch while she makes human body covers with two sticks and pieces of string.  We were in a place she didn’t know so I thought it prudent for us to keep her company.  The kids were amazed at the site of moving sofas when all their education had taught them that they need to be restrained to prevent them from moving.

 

Most owners of kennels surrounded by white slippy stuff seem to be careless with their security however, those whose kennels they leave in the care of Tahoe Moon Properties have a special understanding of the importance of visiting humans bringing their security detail with them.  At the end of the first day, I left the job of securing the perimeter of the one we stayed in to Truman and Tobermory.  I was only interested in taking a nap by the hole in the wall with fire which I felt was only fair.  Their attention all day had been focused solely on watching the sliding humans, leaving me completely in charge of taking care of Truman’s Mummy with no breaks.  I seriously needed to catch up on my daily requirement of 20 hours of sleep.

Talisker

Spring Clean

Humans seem to have what I consider to be an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness.  Every day ours stand in a glass box that sprays water all over them.  Of course, you do have to take into account that with such little tongues and their limited flexibility, it must be difficult to clean themselves without a little help however, I do think they take it to the extreme.  They are perfectly aware that too much of the bubbly stuff that they put on their heads plays havoc with natural waterproofing.  If they took notice of this fact, they wouldn’t need to walk around under little single posted portable tents when water is falling out of the sky.

 

I am pleased to say that our humans don’t inflict this cleanliness obsession on us too often.  However, Mummy does feel it is necessary to subject us occasionally to what she calls Bath Day, with the exception of one every year when it starts to get warm outside which is called Spring Clean.  I can tell when it’s about to happen.  She gathers together lots of big fluffy water eating cloths and piles them on the floor in a room containing a big pot for cooking humans.  She thinks she’s being subtle, but I always know what she’s up to.  She makes us climb into the pot and then a long water snake sprays warm water at us, after which Mummy covers us in bubbly stuff and gives us a good scratch all over.  That bit’s not too bad.  We have to endure this twice before being rubbed with the water eating cloths.  I always like to show my dislike by shaking at regular intervals during the process so that Mummy gets covered in the bubbly stuff too, in the hope that she might get the hint and give up this practice.

 

 

It’s always upsetting to see lots of the brown stuff that’s on the ground outside disappearing down the hole in the pot.  Humans don’t seem to realize that we like to keep a little of this in our fur to help with insulation and it takes quite a lot of work to achieve the correct level without it becoming itchy.  You would think that Mummy might have caught on after all these years when she sees us rush outside and roll around in an attempt to recapture a little.

Talisker