Extra Leggs shown to help old dogs

I love my new Dog Leggs.  I know what you’re thinking, I’m a dog and already have legs, four of them and of course I love them.  I use them to catch toys when amusing the humans with a game of fetch and of course when we take them out for our neighborhood sniffs.

Dog Leggs are not to be confused with the four you are familiar with.  When it’s warm outside, I like to nap on the cool floor, but as I’ve got older it makes my elbows sore.  I used to spend a lot of time visiting our doctor to have the sore bits made better after dirt from the ground made them leak, but not anymore.  She said she’d let Mummy in on a new trick for old dogs… Dog Leggs.  They keep the evil dirty stuff out with the added advantage that they look really cool so other humans always stop ours to give me some love and ask about them.  Arran likes to be the center of attention so of course wants some too.  I told him you get them as a privilege of age.

Tobermory

Only the best for my Lady

Our breed is renowned for many things.  One is that our descendants were Canadian fish retrievers and another is that we will eat pretty much anything.  Daddy calls us Ice-Chest Retrievers.

I have a girlfriend, Lady.  I’m her toy-boy … she’s 3 years older than me, but pretty hot for her age.  I get to see her most weekends when our humans gather to enjoy falling over juice at TestarossaWinery.  There are always lots of good snacks on hand, Milkbones that the humans who pour the falling over juice keep in the pockets of their body covers and crackers on the plate of human treats made from cow and goat juice.

Now, you’d think that Lady as a member of the Jack Russell Terrier breed, known for their hunting prowess would join us in indulging in these culinary delights, but oh no … she says the secret to her girlish figure is only eating healthy food cooked by her Mummy.  She won’t even drink out of our water bowl (if you saw the amount of slobber my messy drinking brother, Arran leaves behind, that is maybe understandable).  She will only drink out of the cooling bucket for her humans’ falling over juice.  She claims it’s the perfect temperature to maintain her complexion.

Tobermory

Charity Begins at Home

We are lucky to have good humans who like to help others less fortunate than themselves.

This weekend they are involved with a team of organizers in something called a fundraiser.  Before the human biting problem when they had to wear muzzles, this was a common occurrence.  They get all consumed for days beforehand.  All Mummy does is play with her writing box and catch pieces of paper that the machine next to it throws out.

There is a human expression that I learned, “Charity Begins a Home”, and I must admit that I have been guilty of thinking that our humans should not be neglecting us by reducing their time taking us for neighborhood sniffs.  That is until today.

I heard Mummy talking about the local human groups that their fundraiser will be benefitting, JW House, Life ServicesAlternatives, Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence, Saint Patrick School, StartingArts, St. Louise Regional Hospital and Sunnyvale Community Services.

I take It back.  Charity does begin at home, but it takes good humans to make sure that it happens in all their homes and we’re happy to forego a few neighborhood sniffs to help many humans, even if we don’t know them.

Tobermory

Wiggling Humans

Humans need to be exercised and Tobermory has taught me that they are very compliant if there's a reward at the end.

Last Thursday we took Daddy on our sniff up a hill to his favorite falling over juice kennel, Testarossa.  Tobermory said we were going there so the humans could listen to something called music.  Mummy was waiting at the top with a big bowl of iced water for us, and a bottle of water with bubbles and a glass of falling over juice for Daddy.

In front of the other humans drinking falling over juice, was a female howling while the male standing next to her pulled strings on a box that made noises.  Some of the humans got out of their seats and started wiggling their bodies which was really funny to watch.  I couldn’t understand why Tobermory wasn’t laughing too.  He said he’d seen it many times before as it was a common occurrence in the olden days before the human biting epidemic when they were only allowed out of their kennels wearing muzzles, but now I can look forward to watching humans wiggle at Testarossa every Thursday until the sun starts to go to bed early.

When I see something new, I like to do a little research on Mummy’s writing box, and I was interested to find out what you call humans who howl to the noise that comes from boxes with strings.  Did you know that snakes climb out of baskets and wiggle when humans blow through hollow sticks that make noises?  They’re called Snake Charmers.  Since the howling human and the one pulling strings made humans wiggle, I guess that would mean they are called Human Charmers.

Arran

On Special Assignment

Tobermory has appointed me to a special assignment.  I was made for this job and have been training hard for it all my life.  Cuddling is my specialty which I made very clear to Mummy when she first came to interview me and my brothers, crawling on her lap and licking her while the others roughhoused.

A few days ago, Mummy fell when she was getting out of the human washing box, hit her head and sprang a leak.  I think if humans had more fur to protect them, they wouldn’t be quite so delicate.

Daddy took her to be repaired but it didn’t work.  As soon as she got home, she sprang an even bigger leak so had to go straight back to the local human repair shop.  Of course, this gave Tobermory and me plenty of time to clear up.  Humans can be very messy when they leak.

I now have the task of cuddling Mummy as often as I can, just like she cuddled me when my doctor had to put a zipper in my tummy.  Tobermory says cuddling really helps the healing process.

Arran

Security Academy

Tobermory is making me study.  He wants to retire from the position of Head of Security in our kennel and so I need to hone my skills for taking over the task.

I’ve conquered the most efficient way of monitoring the entrances.  There is a convenient viewing point on the back of the sofa. This comes with the added advantage of being able to multi-task.  It’s a comfy spot to take a nap, and if I keep one eye open, I can see all the doors. 

However, there are still a few areas which obviously need more practice.  Our humans seem to be upset when I join in with Tobermory when he demonstrates what he deems to be the correct procedures for threat analysis:

1.    Recognize potentially threating noises outside the kennel - bark at them.

2.   Recognize potential threats seen through the windows of the motorized dog carrier - bark at them.

3.  Hear the neighbor dogs on the other side of the fence - bark at them.

4.   Big, white, fluffy dogs could be potentially threatening - bark at them.

5.   If in doubt - bark at them.

Our humans always shout “quiet”.  I looked this command up on Mummy’s writing box and it infers that the meaning is “don’t bark”.  Tobermory says this is incorrect and what they are telling me is bark more … very confusing.  I like to respect the wisdom of my elders, but I think more studying is required.

Arran

Corona v Blankie

This is my blankie.  I love my blankie.  Daddy calls it my girlfriend.  Mummy gave it to me when I chose her to be my forever human.  I take it everywhere and sleep with it every night. Sometimes Mummy plays hide and go seek with it and when I find it, it smells really clean … I’ve never worked out how that happens.

When the humans at the tummy zipper installation kennel said I had to stay the night, Mummy tried to give them my blankie but they said I couldn’t take it with me because of Corona-something.  I’ve watched Daddy give bottles of yellow falling over juice with little slices of green fruit in the top to his friends.  They say Corona on them. Why do bottles of falling over juice have the right to separate me from my blankie?

Arran