Behave Your Age

I had a sore leg last week.  My doctor gave me some magic treats to stop it hurting and ordered me for a few days to concentrate on the skills of sofa restraint and supervision of human meal construction.  I pointed out that would mean that I would have to trust Arran to properly exercise Daddy in the evening, not to mention that I would also be neglecting my duties as his tutor in the important art of retrieving. When Daddy throws toys for us, it is very important that I get to them before Arran to demonstrate correct catching methods.  Would you believe my doctor then had the audacity to suggest that I need to behave my age?

Tobermory

Covid Puppy turned Jazz Hound

When I visited our doctor last year to get the juice that stops me getting sick, she said I’m a classic Covid puppy.  I needed to look it up on Mummy’s writing box to understand what she meant.  I learned that because of the human biting problem that started before I was born that confined them to their kennels and had them wearing muzzles when they were allowed outside, I didn’t get to go on enough adventures to meet other humans and their canine security detail.

Well, that has now changed.  For the last few weeks, every Wednesday evening we go to a big garden in the middle of our town where lots of humans gather, sitting on folding chairs drinking falling over juice and eating human kibble while listening to a small group standing on a big table in the middle of the garden, one howling and others blowing bent metal pipes that make strangely enjoyable noises.  It’s one of the types of noise that makes some humans get out of their chairs and wiggle which I’ve always found amusing.  I overheard one saying it’s called Jazz.  I guess that means that I’ve turned from a Covid puppy into a Jazz hound.

Arran

Martley Hall Stud – the hot UK vacation spot for horses

Last month Mummy went on an adventure on her own for seven whole days and left us alone with Daddy.  I didn’t like it.  How can we perform our security duties properly if the family unit is not in the same place?  Daddy obviously didn’t have enough to do without her around, so I helped him out by only eating breakfast when he spoon-fed it to me to take up a little of his morning time.

Now, I know what you’re thinking … where did Mummy go?  She’s done this twice since I started studying security protocol under Tobermory.  I decided I need to know more about these adventures and her writing box seemed the obvious place to start my investigations.  I was in luck.  She keeps details of everywhere that she goes on it.

I’ve learnt that Mummy travels in a flying metal tube to go and visit her litter mate and her pack in the land where she was whelped.  To my relief I found out that there’s a pretty tight security detail protecting them, so my concerns for her safety were unfounded.  They all live on a special horse resort called Martley Hall Stud where very fast horses go for vacations or to rest and be pampered before and after they have their puppies.  I’ve never seen a horse puppy.  I checked Mummy’s picture box, and sure enough, here’s a picture of horse puppies, although Tobermory did correct me … horse puppies are called foals.  I don’t understand why they have such long, skinny legs.  When I was a puppy, I had short, fat legs

Arran

The Last of the Three Amigos

It was a sad day today.  My old friend, Truman went to join my dearly departed brother Talisker.  He was his BFF and I’ve known him my whole life.  We went on adventures together, accompanying our humans and sampling the local bread while they tested falling over juice, we watched them slide down white slippy stuff with boards attached to their paws and had sleepovers at each other’s kennels.

Truman and Talisker are back together on an adventure in a place where the rabbits are slow and fat, the frisbees and balls plentiful.  I am now the last of THE THREE AMIGOS.

Tobermory

What do you call a baby goose?

When Mummy goes on her weekly foraging trip for human kibble, on the way she drops us off with Daddy at a huge field with a big hole in the ground with water in the middle of it.  It’s one of our favorite places to go for a sniff.  We meet other security details out exercising their humans and lots of big birds called geese vacationing there, visiting from a cold place in the north.

Recently on one of these outings, the big birds were accompanied by groups of baby birds thatlooked like fluffy yellow balls with legs.  Tobermory says they’re called goslings.  That doesn’t make much sense to me.  Everyone knows that more than one goose are called geese and not gooses, so shouldn’t more than one gosling be geesling?  If Tobermory is correct, then maybe I’m really a dogling and not a puppy.

Arran

Extra Leggs shown to help old dogs

I love my new Dog Leggs.  I know what you’re thinking, I’m a dog and already have legs, four of them and of course I love them.  I use them to catch toys when amusing the humans with a game of fetch and of course when we take them out for our neighborhood sniffs.

Dog Leggs are not to be confused with the four you are familiar with.  When it’s warm outside, I like to nap on the cool floor, but as I’ve got older it makes my elbows sore.  I used to spend a lot of time visiting our doctor to have the sore bits made better after dirt from the ground made them leak, but not anymore.  She said she’d let Mummy in on a new trick for old dogs… Dog Leggs.  They keep the evil dirty stuff out with the added advantage that they look really cool so other humans always stop ours to give me some love and ask about them.  Arran likes to be the center of attention so of course wants some too.  I told him you get them as a privilege of age.

Tobermory

Only the best for my Lady

Our breed is renowned for many things.  One is that our descendants were Canadian fish retrievers and another is that we will eat pretty much anything.  Daddy calls us Ice-Chest Retrievers.

I have a girlfriend, Lady.  I’m her toy-boy … she’s 3 years older than me, but pretty hot for her age.  I get to see her most weekends when our humans gather to enjoy falling over juice at TestarossaWinery.  There are always lots of good snacks on hand, Milkbones that the humans who pour the falling over juice keep in the pockets of their body covers and crackers on the plate of human treats made from cow and goat juice.

Now, you’d think that Lady as a member of the Jack Russell Terrier breed, known for their hunting prowess would join us in indulging in these culinary delights, but oh no … she says the secret to her girlish figure is only eating healthy food cooked by her Mummy.  She won’t even drink out of our water bowl (if you saw the amount of slobber my messy drinking brother, Arran leaves behind, that is maybe understandable).  She will only drink out of the cooling bucket for her humans’ falling over juice.  She claims it’s the perfect temperature to maintain her complexion.

Tobermory