The Dogstitution

I hear that humans in this land have a list of rules that they live by called The Constitution.  I asked Tobermory if something similar exists for canines.  After some considerable whining at him, he gave me what he calls The Dogstitution.

1.   If you hear any sign of the humans moving in their bird fir next door in the morning bark REALLY loudly to make sure they haven’t forgotten it’s breakfast time.

2.   If you hear the neighbor dogs sniffing and whining at the other side of the fence, bark.

3.     If humans walk by on the sidewalk outside the kennel, bark.

4.  If you see any creature with 4 legs in the moving picture frame on the wall, bark, especially if it’s the Geico Gecko – hate that guy.

5.   If your humans look like they are going near the harnesses and leashes, bark.

6.  If you see canine security details taking their humans for a sniff when you are in the motorized dog carrier, bark.

7.    If you recognize where you are going in the motorized dog carrier, bark REALLY loudly so everyone knows you’re arriving. 

I’m not so big on drawing attention to myself but I can see why as Head of Security, Tobermory considers these are all good points.  However, I do feel that some important considerations were overlooked, so I have proposed a few amendments.

8.      If it’s on the floor, it’s mine.

9.      If Tobermory thinks a toy is his, it’s mine.

10. If it’s on a table and I can stand on the edge to reach it when the humans aren’t watching, it’s mine.

11.  All human body covers left in my reach that are not containing a human are mine.

12. All pieces of fluffy cloth that a nice human who comes to clean our kennel uses are mine.

And of course, the most important one,

12.  All cuddles are mine.

Arran