Humans and brown squishy stuff

Yesterday, a kennel that makes falling over juice held a gathering for dogs and I was really looking forward to getting together with some of my friends.  Our humans can be easily bribed with falling over juice and I had hoped its availability might persuade them to give us a ride there in their motorized dog carrier.  I didn’t account for how pathetic they can be when water is falling out of the sky.  Bowmore says they can’t help it because they don’t have waterproof fur like us but I thought it a little mean to go to a different falling over juice kennel and make us wait in the motorized dog carrier while they had fun with THEIR friends.

Just when I thought the day couldn’t get any worse, our humans brought some of them back to our kennel.  I made the assumption they felt guilty and were bringing these dudes over to throw balls for me, but no, apparently they were there to torture me.  I tried everything, dropping the ball at their feet and staring at them, bouncing it around the room with no walls and chasing it hoping they would get the idea and I even dropped it several times on the plate they had food on with no success.  Would you believe the reason they gave for making my day miserable was that they don’t like my paws leaving the brown squishy stuff on the sofas that appears in the grass when water is falling out of the sky.  What purpose do sofas have other than to give me something to clean my paws on?

Talisker

Water Frisbee

Being fish retrievers, swimming is in our blood.  Our friends, Austin and Pumbaa have a hole in the ground with water and since it was a little hot this weekend we decided to go and join them.  In my younger days this was one of my favorite sports and our humans have been kind enough to give me a floating coat so I can still play Water Frisbee with the guys.

Pumbaa is an expert diver and I had hoped he would give Tali a few tips but he was in a bad mood and didn’t want to play so Austin and I did our best to point him in the right direction.  He caught on pretty quickly.  Sometimes it takes old dogs to teach a new dog new tricks.  The humans really weren’t much help.  They tried, but in the end we just let them stand around and drink falling over juice which is more within their range of skills.

Bowmore

In Deep *!?#

It’s important to keep an eye on what teenagers are doing on the writing box.  Daddy is in the land where humans used to wear hats with horns, and Talisker has always been very good at winding Daddy around his paws so I think he thought this writing box message that I caught might divert the inevitable.

Subject: In trouble again

Date: 10/2/2010 10:53 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time
From: talisker@dogggy.com
To: daddy@daddy.net

I'm in deep *!?# again.  Daddy, please come home and rescue me.  I got caught short while mummy was out this afternoon and I found what looked like a drainage hole in the living room so I peed in it.  How was I to know that’s where the cold air comes from?  Mummy is being very quiet and said something about Labrador burgers instead of growling which I know to be REALLY bad.  She spent all evening with her hands in the hole and says she has to get special stuff tomorrow to finish it.  I really don't understand what the fuss is about.  It smells pretty good to me, but you know what she can be like.

Tali

Of course, I witnessed the whole thing and he really is in deep *!?# and even Daddy can’t save him.

Bowmore

Recycling

Our humans are always making a big deal about something they call “recycling”.  They place stuff they don’t want anymore into a big box for other humans to take away and use again.

Mummy put a chicken she didn’t want anymore into a box in the room where she makes food and since I wanted it I thought I was doing the correct thing in removing it to recycle it.  Please explain why she took it away and growled at me.

Talisker

Heat Wave

When we were watching the moving picture frame on the wall yesterday there was a man in front of a map of this land with lots of numbers on it .  He claimed the numbers indicated a heat wave.  Now, I know this to be incorrect because this is the time of year when we start to get our Winter coats.

Mummy didn’t take us out for our evening neighborhood sniff yesterday or our morning sniff today because she claimed it was too hot for an old man like me.  I of course made the natural assumption that she and the man in the moving picture frame were involved in a conspiracy to allow humans to be lazy as the temperature appeared to be just fine inside our kennel.  We pleaded all day but Mummy still wouldn’t let us out to prove her wrong.  We did eventually win and she opened the door and closed it very quickly behind us.  I have to admit to feeling very bad now for doubting her concern for my welfare … it’s hot out there!

Bowmore

Naughty Birds

Sometimes when humans come to visit I just can’t contain my excitement and jump up and kiss them all.  Mummy says this is naughty and puts me behind bars in the room where she makes food until I promise to keep all my feet on the floor at the same time.

We went with our humans to visit some of their friends who share their kennel with little birds who were already behind bars when we arrived.  I guess they must have been trying to kiss the other human visitors before we arrived, but they obviously hadn’t learnt that the key to being released is to keep quiet and promise to behave because they yelled a lot and had to stay behind bars the whole time we were there.

Talisker

Blending in with your surroundings

It’s always good to hear news of old friends and I am pleased that our humans went to visit a really cute little female called Annie at the end of their adventure.  I remember with nostalgia the last time she came to visit with her humans in their big motorized kennel.  It was just after my older brother, Cider had left us and I was feeling a little lonely so it was good to have the company of her and her sister, Ebony.  My legs worked a little better then so we went for a run at the edge of the big lake called the Pacific Ocean.

I was very sorry to hear that Ebony had to leave Annie to go and keep Cider company, but she has a new sister now called Ali.  She's a Tibetan Terrier and her ancestors were the sacred caretakers of humans in a far away land who wrap red sheets around their bodies, so she's a little wary of humans who wear trousers.

I have great admiration for Annie’s sofa restraining technique.  She sneaks up on them and then blends in with her surroundings so they don’t know they are being restrained until it’s too late.  I hope she is finding teaching her special talent to Ali as rewarding as I have in imparting my knowledge of the care of humans to Talisker.

Bowmore