Why does Talisker get to do all the fun stuff?

I’m feeling left out.  Today Mummy took us for a ride in her motorized dog carrier to a kennel near us that I don’t know.  There were lots of other dogs going in and out of it with their humans.  There was a long table inside with four humans sitting behind it playing with writing boxes and talking boxes.  One of them told us to sit.  Two female humans wearing blue pajamas came out of a door and asked us to follow them to a room with lots of cushions and a platform that looked like the one in our kennel that Mummy runs on without going anywhere.

This is where I started to be ignored.  The humans in the pajamas invited Talisker to lie down on a big dog bed and then rubbed his leg while they gave him chicken.  They then played games with him while I stood on cushions and gave him even more treats.  They did at least give me a couple.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Talisker then got into a glass tank that filled with water and got to play in it while I had to watch.  Everyone knows that I love to play in water.  Having a sore leg is no reason to get to do all the fun stuff.

Tobermory

Causing Stress

The evil black bags took Daddy away last week on a flying metal tube.  Sometimes he goes away for just one night but he was away for a whole week and left us to take care of Mummy all on our own.  Talisker didn't seem to take this seriously.  He said Daddy used to go away a lot when he was young.  He has to do it to earn the green stuff that buys dog biscuits.  He told me to relax because Mummy would be just fine, but I don’t like it.  It’s very important to keep the pack together.  If I’m going to become head of security one day, the humans have to understand this.  I made sure that I barked at everything that walked past our kennel and slept on top of Mummy so she understood my level of commitment to the job.  It really isn't nice to put me through this kind of stress.

Tobermory

Size Matters

Everyone knows that I am partial to a good game of fetch and I don’t have a lot of regard for the human ability to play the game.  However, there are a group of human Giants from San Francisco who seem to have really got the game nailed, although they call it baseball.  I don’t understand the reason for giving it a fancyname.  After all, fetching a ball is fetching a ball.

2 years ago they won against a bunch of Cardinals which really was not too surprising.  After all, birds really are no match for Giants.  This year they played against Royals from Kansas.  I don’t know much about Royals from there, but I know that the Royals in the United Kingdom where our humans come from are renowned for their sports ability.  I assume that all Royals are related so the Kansas ones are probably equally talented.  The Giants had their work cut out for them.  It took them over a week, but right at the end they came out as the victors tonight.  Hey, they’re Giants.  Obviously size does matter.

Talisker

Olive, the Dancing Queen

Our friend, Truman has a new little sister called Olive.  Tobermory and I have been trying to work out what her role in their kennel is.  She isn’t very big so obviously won’t be helping with security.  However, she seems to excel in her ability to entertain humans, with dancing being her specialty for which she has quite a talent.  Who would have thought you could persuade a floor cleaning snake to be a dancing partner.

Talisker

Ball-Napping

My favorite ball has gone missing.  Some time ago, Daddy hid it under a sofa cushion so I thought it was still there and needed to be rescued.   I had to throw all the cushions off and move all the pieces around just in case it had fallen between them.  The ball wasn’t there.

There are a lot of dogs in this neighborhood and I think it’s been ball-napped by one of them.  I checked the dog food closet and there are plenty of dog biscuits so I’m ready for the ransom demand.

Tobermory

Let Them Eat Cake

I’m now 3 human years.  Not many people know this, but 3 is a very important age for a fish retriever.  Mummy says it’s when we become mature and sensible.  Talisker told me that means I can’t jump on humans when they come into our kennel and I have to be less talkative.  Humans greet friends by looking each other in the eye and hugging so why can’t I do it too?  I pointed out that he does it, but he claims that he just balances on his hind legs and shakes hands which for some reason they seem to find cute.  I’m a heart on my fur kind of dog and believe in hugging the humans I love when they come to visit and what’s so wrong with enthusiastically vocalizing that love?

In the past, I’ve had lots of my friends over to celebrate my Birthday.  This time Mummy said we no longer have a large enough area of green stuff outside so only Truman, Olive and Sparky were allowed to come.  As ever, Mummy made me a cake.  She makes really good cakes.  They have the orange vegetables that rabbits like, bee juice and squashed peanuts in them, topped with cheese from small human kennels.  I’ve heard my humans say that many human generations ago a very prominent human is famous for saying “let them eat cake.”   If there’s cake to be had, I’m definitely eating it.

Tobermory

Shaky Ground

I’m sure all of you who follow our adventures have realized by now that our humans are particularly dedicated to their pursuit of good falling over juice.  When they find one, they tell all their friends and get together to buy a lot so that they don’t have to pay as much green stuff as humans who buy it one bottle at a time.

Recently, our humans had to collect a lot of falling over juice from one of our favorite falling over juice kennels in Sonoma, Nicholson Ranch.  There was too much to fit in Daddy’s motorized dog carrier so we borrowed their friend’s with no cover on the trunk.  When we retrieved it, he said to us “don’t go near Napa”.  I didn’t really understand this until we heard on the talking box on the way that there had been shaky ground that morning and the box was telling humans not to go there unless they had to.  Kennels had fallen over and lights and moving picture frames on the wall inside lots of kennels wouldn’t work.  Our humans are very serious about collecting falling over juice and shaky ground wasn’t going to frighten them away.

 

Supervising the collection of falling over juice is really hard work.  This time, all the humans who got frightened by their talking boxes weren’t out in their motorized dog carriers so we got home really quickly.  The talking on box completely failed to warn us about shaky ground interfering with nap time.

Talisker