Sliding down white slippy stuff

I like to write a couple of times a week but we have been on vacation and since we got back Mummy has not let me near the writing box. She’s starting to earn dog biscuits like Daddy which is really intruding on my life.

We went to Tahoe. This is a place that has a lot of white slippy stuff in winter. I have been visiting there since I was a pup but Tali is a newcomer to the immense amount of fun that can be had in it.

I always knew that our humans like to attach boards to their feet and slide down but in my long life I have never watched them do it. We went to watch this time and Daddy stopped the motorized dog carrier right where the sliding starts so we got to see it all. The humans get on moving sofas to go up the hill. I assume that somewhere along their trip to the top they are given a lot of falling over juice because when they slide down they do not do it in a straight line.

Tali really enjoyed himself and didn’t want to leave but I assured him that we would be back again while the slippy stuff is there.

Bowmore

Goodbye to an old friend

As an old wise dog you learn that when your friends get sick and no longer enjoy life in the human world, if they have been lucky enough to take care of really good humans, they help us move on to another world where nothing hurts, the rabbits are really fat and slow and the treats are particularly tasty.

My good friend, Emerson went to join my older brother, Cider there this week. We were puppies together when our Daddies started a place to earn dog biscuits. We entertained the human puppies at gatherings and shared a lot of good times.

We went to say goodbye to Emerson before he left, shared a hamburger and laughed at all the fun we’ve had over the years. He likes the meat, so as bread connoisseurs we helped out to make sure nothing went to waste. He will be missed here in the human world but I know Cider will show him the ropes and introduce him to all the best places to sniff.

Bowmore

Falling over juice works

I’m writing for the old dude today. He’s pretty beat. We’ve had a busy few days keeping our humans occupied. They bore easily so you have to think up clever ways to keep them entertained.

This weekend we all got in the motorized dog carrier and went to a place where humans make falling over juice. We stayed in a big kennel where humans sleep when they are far from home. There was a gathering of falling over juice makers who were testing the juice on other humans to see if it worked.  You know when it works because it makes them sleepy and since we wanted to relax on the comfy beds, we sent Mummy and Daddy to be tested on so they wouldn't bug us. The people who made it must have been good at it because they slept so well that I had to jump on them really hard in the morning to wake them up and take them out for their exercise.

Of course we need to have some fun too so we went bread testing at a place where they feed food to humans. Bowmore taught me that human food is a good antidote to falling over juice so for all my friends out there who like to take their humans on trips to test falling over juice, remember to feed them well.

Talisker

Roses Bite

Very soon there is a special day in the year when male humans give roses to their females. I can only assume that this is similar to when cats bring mice to humans they respect. I think humans don’t like mice but they make a very good show of looking grateful. Similarly, I can’t believe female humans really like roses but always look surprisingly excited about getting them.

Mummy has a healthy respect for these plants. We know this because she’s very strict with them. Every year she puts big covers made of cow skin on her paws so they can’t bite her and then makes them small. We understand this to be an indication of how dangerous they can be because when we’re bad, Mummy just growls at us to make us feel small without covering her paws with cow skin.

Unfortunately, our friend Bailey only recently learnt this when a rose viciously bit him on the ear. He leaked a lot and our doctor had to repair him and put an ugly white hat on his head to stop him leaking which he had to wear for a long time.

To all our male human friends, if you must give roses to your females, make sure to remove their teeth so your female doesn’t have to wear an ugly white hat.

Bowmore

Humans can’t play fetch

Once a year humans gather in groups around the moving picture frame on the wall to watch other humans dressed in colorful clothes and hard hats play fetch. Today was that day. They have been doing this for many dog lives so you would think they would have learnt how to fetch by now.

All good dogs know that when a ball is thrown to you, you bring it back and drop it so that it can be thrown again. These guys catch the ball and run away with it. This is really bad fetching etiquette. The other humans in the silly outfits obviously know this too because they chase after the guy with the ball to get him to drop it. Tali is a good fetcher and is really upset by their lack of adherence to the correct code in the fetching game. To get his mind off this insult to his genetic make up, I need to go and help him with his sofa restraint studies.

Bowmore

The Care and Maintenance of Humans

We’ve had a pretty boring few days. Last week Mummy went for a run and the sky started dropping water on her. Humans don’t have waterproof fur like us. She insisted when she got back to our kennel that she didn’t have time to blow hot air through her fur before taking me to a doctor’s appointment. Now she has a cold, wet nose. I know what you’re thinking and Tali thought the same, but in my many years of experience of taking care of humans, I have learnt that they are supposed to have warm, dry noses. We have been doing our best to keep her warm. She sleeps under a big rug stuffed with bird fur and Tali has been helping out by getting under to warm it up.

On the positive side, Daddy came home this evening. He earns dog biscuits in a far away land. He’s been in lots of very cold places and had many hours on a flying metal tube to get home so I now need to concentrate on warming him up. We can’t have two humans in one kennel with cold, wet noses.

Bowmore