How to Exhaust a Puppy

I’m new to this puppy stuff.  I know I was one, but it was a really long time ago.  Mummy says I was challenging which I think must be a positive because she says she always enjoys a challenge.

Our humans are complaining about sleep deprivation.  I don’t know what their problem is … they don’t sleep in the same room as Arran.   I slept with the humans in their bird fur for 9 months and now I’m back on a dog bed sleeping beside a dude who thinks that a box is a cool place to sleep.

I am trying to help our humans out, so for those of you out there with puppies, let me show you how to exhaust them.  First, find a really noisy toy, the more annoying the better because puppies can’t resist annoying.

Once you’ve exhausted the puppy, make sure to remove the toy because now you need some peace and quiet for a well deserved nap.

Tobermory

 

What's a Lergic?

Last night I was out for my end of evening sniff and found a cool round green thing under a tree.  Tobermory told me it’s called a lime and humans add them to a falling over juice made from a plant called cactus.

I was having fun throwing it around the garden when a stripey bug started to fly around my nose.  I like to catch bugs, but this was a mean one.  It stuck something sharp in my lip.  It really hurt so I ran inside to find Mummy.  She makes everything that hurts feel better.   And then I started to feel weird and sleepy and my chops got really big.  Our humans rushed around putting foot covers on, Mummy picked me up and she, Daddy and Tobermory ran to the motorized dog carrier.  Daddy made it go really fast and Mummy was talking to her talking box.  We stopped outside a kennel that had a big sign saying “Med Vet”.  A nice female human wearing shapeless body covers that I learnt are called scrubs, took me into the kennel.  There were more humans wearing those shapeless body covers inside.  They found the spiky thing in my lip, took it out and then stuck lots of needles in me.  I didn’t enjoy that bit, but I did start to feel better.  The male human in charge said this happened because I’m a lergic.

I don’t know what a lergic looks like.  I mean, aren’t I a Labrador?  I tried to find more lergics on the writing box.  I think I should meet some others to find out what we are but I can’t find any.   If you know any lergics, please put them in contact with me.

Arran

Teaching Humans To Give Treats

Mummy took me to school yesterday.  She says all puppies, even human ones have to go.  I get to play with four other dudes at the beginning.  They don’t look like me. They all have really long fur except for one little one who hides under her human’s chair.

After that, the serious stuff starts.   This is when we teach humans to give us treats.  The human in charge tells all our humans what to do and then they just follow the instructions.  Here is how it works.

Mummy says “sit”, raises her paw, I put my butt on the floor, she gives me a treat.  Mummy says “down”, does a downward motion with her paw, I lie on the floor, she gives me a treat.  Mummy holds her paw out and says “touch”, I put my nose on her paw, her other paw gives me a treat etc. etc. etc.

My conclusion is that humans are REALLY easy to train.  However, I am confused.  My research shows that human puppies don’t take their Mummies and Daddies to school with them, so … how do they train them to give treats without help?

Arran

 

Twenty Seconds of Fame

There are human rituals that we join ours in every evening.  One is that when the sun is going to sleep, we sit on the sofa with our humans to watch a moving picture box story that tells us what is going on outside our kennel.  There is one segment that has always particularly interested me where there is a discussion about the quality of the weather for going out for a neighborhood sniff which of course is very important to me.

I decided to open a discussion on the writing box with the human who does the predictions, and we got on pretty well.  I read on the writing box that everyone is entitled to 15 minutes of fame, and he gave us our first 20 seconds last night.

Thank you, Mr Heggen.

Tobermory

The Adventures Begin

Hello, I’m Arran.  I have a new Mummy, Daddy and big brother called Tobermory.  I wasn’t sure about him at first, but he’s really cool.  He’s teaching me loads of stuff about how to be a great dog.  Yesterday he taught me how to ride in the back of a motorized dog carrier.  He says only babies sit on their Mummy’s lap in the front, so that means I’m a big dog now.

Tobermory told me of all the adventures our humans will take us on.  We went on my first one yesterday.  He said it wasn’t really an adventure because we do it most weeks, but it was a pretty big adventure for me.  We went to a place that he said is a falling over juice kennel called Testarossa where the humans test falling over juice.  They didn’t fall over so it must have been defective.

I sat with Mummy on a comfy sofa with my toys and lots of other humans visited us with fingers that were really good to chew.  I wanted to get off the sofa and have a good sniff but Mummy says I need more vet juice to stop me getting sick before I can do that.  It was very tiring but luckily Mummy was on hand for me to sleep on.

Arran