Human Soup

There’s a big pot of bubbly hot water in our garden.  Talisker says it’s used for making boiled human like when Mummy makes boiled egg in the morning and you can tell when they’re done when the glasses of falling over juice they are holding are empty.  I’ve been watching very carefully and I think he’s wrong.

When Mummy makes boiled egg she boils a fresh egg every day but when she makes chicken soup she boils the same chicken several days in a row.  Since only our humans seem to get boiled in the big pot and I have never seen fresh ones in there, it looks to me like they are really making human soup.  As for the falling over juice, Mummy puts it into chicken soup to make it taste better.  Our humans put the contents of their glasses into themselves so are obviously trying to improve their flavor.

Tobermory

Scooby and Scrappy

There is a kennel in our town with very dark windows where humans can get particularly effective falling over juice.  There are always lots of two wheeled human carriers that growl very loudly keeping guard outside.

Last week whilst out for our routine sniff, as we passed this kennel a human dressed in cow skin who was showing signs of the effectiveness of the falling over juice came out and yelled “hey, it’s Scooby and Scrappy.”  I did of course assume that this must be a case of mistaken identity.

I asked Daddy why someone might think we were called Scooby and Scrappy and he explained that when he and Mummy were puppies, they used to watch the stories of their adventures.    He said moving picture frames on the wall didn’t exist in the olden days so they had to watch Scooby and Scrappy on a moving picture box which sounds a little implausible to me.

Being curious, I thought I’d do some research on the writing box to find out a little more about these two dogs.  I can definitely see some similarities between Tobermory and Scrappy with their youthful enthusiasm however, I am a little upset at being compared to Scooby.  I take my position as Head of Security very seriously and have never taken refuge behind those that it is my duty to protect in a threatening situation.

Talisker

My First Day at School

Yesterday I went to school for the first time.  I was a little nervous so Talisker came with me in the motorized dog carrier.  I couldn’t understand why he can’t teach me everything but he said there are things that are best taught by humans and I would understand when I got there.

There were lots of other puppies in my class of all different shapes and sizes, but I’m the only fish retriever.  I thought I was going to get to play with the others but the human in charge said we weren’t allowed to.  It was showing all the promise of becoming a very boring morning, but I listened carefully to her talk and demonstrate with one of the puppies what she would be teaching us and then I realized what school is about.  We were all there to learn lots of tricks to make humans give us treats and who better to teach how humans think than another human.  I already know that our humans will give me dinner and breakfast if I sit but yesterday I learnt that if I lie down when they say “down” and go to them when they say “come”, I also get treats.  This is pretty cool stuff.

My humans were very good at giving me treats so Talisker suggested we reward them by taking them to their favorite falling over juice kennel.  Ours were obviously not the only humans who had been good at giving treats yesterday as a guy called Beaux had brought his there too.  We all chatted a little but I eventually had to go to sleep.  You’ve no idea how exhausting it can be learning how to get treats.

Tobermory

Dogs that Lunch

Going exploring with our humans has always been an important part of our lives and since our doctor has given Tobermory all the juice that keeps him from getting sick, last week it was time to take him on his first mini adventure.  I have always considered myself to be well traveled for my age, but learnt from Bowmore’s tales of exploring with his big brother, Cider that there are many more places to be sniffed.

It is particularly appropriate that for the beginning of my adventures with Tobermory, our humans took us to sniff a place that was new for both of us.  It was the longest ride in the motorized dog carrier that Tobermory has been on since leaving our birth place and he got more than a little fidgety.  He insisted on trying to pull all the toys out of the toy bag and eventually started the “are we there yet” whine.

Our destination was Carmel.  Man, there are a lot of dogs in that place.  Our friend, Digby and his humans have a kennel there so know all the best human feeding stations.  They took us to The Forge in the Forest.  It’s a particularly popular canine hang out which I didn’t find too surprising after I learnt that they have a special menu for us with such delicacies as a Quarter Hounder and Hot Diggity Dog.  We opted for Hen House Chicken Strips which more than lived up to our expectations.

After all this gastronomic extravagance we needed to go and play a little full contact fetch to work it off so walked our humans down to a hole in the ground with water that is so big that you can't see the other side.  It's called the Pacific Ocean.  I have come to the conclusion that Carmel must be a community of dogs that lunch because we were not the only ones down there running it off.

Talisker

Trust the Tree

Talisker says it’s traditional for the new boy to write at Christmas as he has extra security tasks so needs more nap time in front of the hole in the wall with fire.  I have been really excited to tell everyone about all the cool stuff that has been going on in our kennel but Talisker said that I first had to learn to get rid of the wiggly red lines under some of the words.  I think they’re funny but Talisker said they scare humans so he taught me how to use something called spell check to frighten them away.

A big tree is hanging out in our kennel.  Talisker says it comes every year when it’s cold outside and we have big thick coats.  Our tree is domestic but Bowmore told him that in the olden days our humans used to wear big paw covers made of cow skin to coax a wild one inside because they bite.  Mummy obviously doesn’t even trust the domestic tree because she’s put it in a cage.  I think she needs to learn to be a little more trusting.  It’s really a very kind tree.  Two days ago it gave me an elk horn and fluffy lizard that makes cool squeaky noises when I bite it.

Tobermory

Increased Security Detail

Now that Tobermory has had almost all his juice to stop him getting sick, he gets to join our humans and me on some puppy sized adventures.  He doesn’t seem to fully appreciate the educational benefit of these trips as all he does is fall asleep.  Mummy says he can’t help it as growing is pretty tiring stuff.  I’m used to keeping a watchful eye on our humans but the little guy is way too trusting.  He just goes to sleep wherever tiredness strikes him and doesn’t seem to understand that there’s dangerous stuff out there for a pup who doesn’t keep his wits about him.  I thought he was supposed to help me out but it would now appear that I have to add Tobermory to my usual protection detail.

Talisker

Floor Ticklers

Our humans are very messy and don’t seem to be good at clearing up after themselves so every week a nice human comes to clean the inside of our kennel.  She also tickles the floors with sticks with long pieces of fur on their ends.  The discarded pieces of our coats are very frightened of them so huddle together in little piles.  Tobermory is very curious to know what makes these sticks so frightening so thought he might dismantle a small one to see if he could find the answer.  It would appear that humans guard the secret of the frightening sticks very carefully because they very quickly took it away from Tobermory and gave him a Nylabone instead, like that that was going to defer his curiosity.  Everyone knows that Nylabones are the least threatening object ever.  All they do is lie around waiting to be chewed.

Talisker