The End of the World

Apparently, according to a human almost as old as me, the world was supposed to end on Saturday around dinner time.  Nothing happened, but now the old human says we’ve had a reprieve until October 21^st.  Daddy’s really upset about this because his birthday is at the end of October and all his pack and a lot of his friends are hoping to come to our kennel to celebrate.  I think I need to find out who is responsible for this world ending stuff so I can appeal to their better nature.  I don’t think it is too unreasonable to ask them to delay it a couple of weeks so that Daddy can enjoy his party.

Bowmore

Yelping

In my long life I have developed a lot of very strongly held opinions on a variety of topics and feel that it is my duty to make sure that everybody hears them.  To do this I yelp. Yelping is something that all dogs know how to do but some of us are a little more practiced at it than others.  The trick to a good yelp is to start imparting your views to the targeted human in a quiet and calm manner.  Humans can be very thick skinned so if you get no reaction from the human, you need to ramp your efforts up until they finally start paying attention and that I have turned into an art form.

You can imagine my amazement when I learnt that Mummy has started to use her writing box to yelp.  Have you ever heard one try?  They just don’t have the vocal chords or the technique for the job.  If writing boxes think they can take over from dogs, they have a lot to learn.

Bowmore

Commando Dog to the Rescue

When Mummy is outside removing plants that are trying to live in our garden without her permission, I sometimes take the opportunity to use her writing box to catch up with current affairs which is very important when you are head of security.

This week I learnt that one of our cousins helped a group of seals catch a really bad human in a far away land.  It took the seals a long time to find him which doesn’t really surprise me.  I mean, just look at them.  They may be pretty agile in water but why would you send a bunch of fat dudes with flippers to do a job that needs agility and speed on dry land.  No wonder they had to call in canine support.  If a whole unit of commando dogs had been sent in at the beginning, the bad human would have been caught a long time ago.

Talisker

Mending Humans

On Tuesday morning, our humans left the kennel really early without giving us breakfast.  Daddy came home a little while later without Mummy.  He said he took her to a doctor to be mended which I found a little confusing because she didn’t look broken to me.

You can always tell when we have been mended because all our fur disappears around the zipper that the doctor uses to get inside us but it is much more difficult to tell with humans because they are just not very furry.  The only indication we have that Mummy has indeed been mended is that when she returned to our kennel yesterday she was moving much slower than usual.

There hasn’t been the need for human mending in our kennel since Talisker took over as head of security so I am delighted that at last I have had the opportunity to teach him the correct nose positioning for optimum human recovery monitoring.

Bowmore

Bunny Eggs

On this day every year a special breed of rabbit called Easter Bunny lays lots of multi colored eggs.  They are very rarely caught site of but I did manage to find a picture of a couple of them on the writing box.

Bird eggs are full of tasty yellow and white stuff.  I know this because Mummy gives me one in my dinner sometimes.  Bunny eggs appear to be full of human puppy treats.  We went to visit one of Mummy’s pack this weekend to watch them run around trying to fit as many as they could into little baskets which provides almost as much entertainment value as watching Talisker trying to fit multiple yellow fluffy balls into his mouth.

Now, the thing I have never managed to work out is why we never get to see these Bunnies because there has to be a lot of them to lay so many eggs in one night.  My hearing is not too good anymore and one of my eyes doesn’t seem to work very well since my recent illness, so you can excuse me for missing them in my advanced years, but with Talisker’s strong young senses I find it surprising that so many bunnies manage to make it past him.

Bowmore

Wise Old Dogs

Bowmore has been very sick the last few days.  He’s feeling much better now, but it’s taken a lot of cuddling from all of us and special little feel better treats that his new doctors gave him.

In the olden days, humans could tell how old and wise we were by looking at our teeth.  Now they just have to count the number of doctors we have.  All dogs have at least one who takes care of us from when we are little pups but as we get older, they call their special doctor friends to help them out.  I only have one special doctor who mended my sore leg, but Bowmore now has five, a leg doctor, a pin doctor, a breathing bag doctor and now he also has an eye doctor and a tummy doctor.  He is obviously very old and wise.

Talisker

Insecurity

Daddy’s been at home a lot just lately.  Mummy says he doesn’t earn dog biscuits in far away lands anymore.  This is making me very nervous.  There’s only one box of milk bones, one container of kibble and sixteen cans of dog stew in the food storing room (there may have been more but I only have 16 toes so never learnt to count more than that).

Ever since I was a small pup Daddy has had to go away for dog biscuits.  Bowmore says it’s OK because several humans are spending a lot of time hanging out around the human feeding table with him playing with their writing boxes saying they’re starting something.  He seems to think that dog biscuits will come from this, but I don’t buy it.  The only thing I have seen him start is the motorized dog carrier and since he’s not sitting in it, I don’t see how he can start something.

Talisker