Water Snakes

I love my Mummy.  She feeds me, cuddles me and gives me treats when I do what I’m told.  I thought I should give her a gift for being so awesome and searched really hard to find the perfect thing.

In our garden we have a lot of water snakes that feed the fluffy green things.  When Mummy is running on the moving piece of floor, she has to stop when she’s thirsty to get her water out of a bottle so I thought that she would really appreciate a water snake to help her out.  I found one at the back of the garden that didn’t look very busy but it was quite difficult to get inside.  I had to pull really hard before it would let go and came with me.

I left the water snake by Mummy’s chair in her writing box room and then went to find a place to hide where I could watch to see the joy on her face when she found it.  You can imagine how upset I was when not only did she not look pleased, but she growled at me and shut me outside.  I guess I should have listened to Talisker when he told me that Mummy doesn’t like surprises.

Tobermory

Newt in Chief ... seriously?

I have always maintained that as Head of Security it is important to keep up with current affairs in the human world.  This year, the humans in this land are holding a big competition, the winner of which gets to live in a big white kennel and tell all the other humans how to behave.  There are lots of heats to eliminate the bad ones so that at the end there are just two competing for the big prize.

I have always been given to understand that this competition is only open to humans so you can understand my surprise when I learned that the winner of one of the most recent heats is a newt.  I seriously questioned the human decision last year to send a bunch of seals and only one dog to catch a bad guy when everyone knows that dogs are way more efficient on dry land, but come on … a newt in charge?  Have you ever seen one?  They don’t exactly project a commanding presence.

Talisker

Human Soup

There’s a big pot of bubbly hot water in our garden.  Talisker says it’s used for making boiled human like when Mummy makes boiled egg in the morning and you can tell when they’re done when the glasses of falling over juice they are holding are empty.  I’ve been watching very carefully and I think he’s wrong.

When Mummy makes boiled egg she boils a fresh egg every day but when she makes chicken soup she boils the same chicken several days in a row.  Since only our humans seem to get boiled in the big pot and I have never seen fresh ones in there, it looks to me like they are really making human soup.  As for the falling over juice, Mummy puts it into chicken soup to make it taste better.  Our humans put the contents of their glasses into themselves so are obviously trying to improve their flavor.

Tobermory

Scooby and Scrappy

There is a kennel in our town with very dark windows where humans can get particularly effective falling over juice.  There are always lots of two wheeled human carriers that growl very loudly keeping guard outside.

Last week whilst out for our routine sniff, as we passed this kennel a human dressed in cow skin who was showing signs of the effectiveness of the falling over juice came out and yelled “hey, it’s Scooby and Scrappy.”  I did of course assume that this must be a case of mistaken identity.

I asked Daddy why someone might think we were called Scooby and Scrappy and he explained that when he and Mummy were puppies, they used to watch the stories of their adventures.    He said moving picture frames on the wall didn’t exist in the olden days so they had to watch Scooby and Scrappy on a moving picture box which sounds a little implausible to me.

Being curious, I thought I’d do some research on the writing box to find out a little more about these two dogs.  I can definitely see some similarities between Tobermory and Scrappy with their youthful enthusiasm however, I am a little upset at being compared to Scooby.  I take my position as Head of Security very seriously and have never taken refuge behind those that it is my duty to protect in a threatening situation.

Talisker

My First Day at School

Yesterday I went to school for the first time.  I was a little nervous so Talisker came with me in the motorized dog carrier.  I couldn’t understand why he can’t teach me everything but he said there are things that are best taught by humans and I would understand when I got there.

There were lots of other puppies in my class of all different shapes and sizes, but I’m the only fish retriever.  I thought I was going to get to play with the others but the human in charge said we weren’t allowed to.  It was showing all the promise of becoming a very boring morning, but I listened carefully to her talk and demonstrate with one of the puppies what she would be teaching us and then I realized what school is about.  We were all there to learn lots of tricks to make humans give us treats and who better to teach how humans think than another human.  I already know that our humans will give me dinner and breakfast if I sit but yesterday I learnt that if I lie down when they say “down” and go to them when they say “come”, I also get treats.  This is pretty cool stuff.

My humans were very good at giving me treats so Talisker suggested we reward them by taking them to their favorite falling over juice kennel.  Ours were obviously not the only humans who had been good at giving treats yesterday as a guy called Beaux had brought his there too.  We all chatted a little but I eventually had to go to sleep.  You’ve no idea how exhausting it can be learning how to get treats.

Tobermory

Dogs that Lunch

Going exploring with our humans has always been an important part of our lives and since our doctor has given Tobermory all the juice that keeps him from getting sick, last week it was time to take him on his first mini adventure.  I have always considered myself to be well traveled for my age, but learnt from Bowmore’s tales of exploring with his big brother, Cider that there are many more places to be sniffed.

It is particularly appropriate that for the beginning of my adventures with Tobermory, our humans took us to sniff a place that was new for both of us.  It was the longest ride in the motorized dog carrier that Tobermory has been on since leaving our birth place and he got more than a little fidgety.  He insisted on trying to pull all the toys out of the toy bag and eventually started the “are we there yet” whine.

Our destination was Carmel.  Man, there are a lot of dogs in that place.  Our friend, Digby and his humans have a kennel there so know all the best human feeding stations.  They took us to The Forge in the Forest.  It’s a particularly popular canine hang out which I didn’t find too surprising after I learnt that they have a special menu for us with such delicacies as a Quarter Hounder and Hot Diggity Dog.  We opted for Hen House Chicken Strips which more than lived up to our expectations.

After all this gastronomic extravagance we needed to go and play a little full contact fetch to work it off so walked our humans down to a hole in the ground with water that is so big that you can't see the other side.  It's called the Pacific Ocean.  I have come to the conclusion that Carmel must be a community of dogs that lunch because we were not the only ones down there running it off.

Talisker