Mo, the Keeper of Falling Over Juice

One of the great things about going on adventures with our humans is that we get to meet lots of cool people.

We live near a lot of really big hills where humans make falling over juice. This weekend we all got in the motorized dog carrier and went as high as we could before falling over the other side. We could see a big lake that Mummy told us is called the Pacific Ocean. I’ve been swimming in Lake Tahoe which is pretty big but this must have been bigger because we couldn’t see the other side.

At the top of this hill is a falling over juice kennel. This kennel is in the care of a very charming guy called Mo. It is his job to make all the visiting humans feel at home while other humans test falling over juice on them. Daddy wants a falling over juice kennel and I hope he gets one soon as I think that welcoming visiting humans would be a very gentlemanly retirement job for me.

Bowmore

The Digging Game

Mummy has a special place at the end of the garden with softer earth than everywhere else. She spent a long time yesterday mixing darker earth with it and then dug lots of little holes in straight lines and put really good smelling treats in each hole. She then put little green things by each treat and buried them with just a little piece of green poking out. This was obviously intended to be a new game for me to demonstrate how quickly I could get to the treats.

After dinner Mummy sent me outside which I took as a sign to start digging. I was doing really well and had eaten two of the treats and had nearly removed another green thing and was getting really close to a third treat when Mummy came running up to me growling really loudly. She’s very frightening when she growls and that was the loudest I have ever heard her growl.

I admit that I misread the signs to start digging and it could have been interpreted as cheating, but this time she went too far with the punishment. She didn’t stop at the growl. She threw me into the motorized dog carrier and took me to a place where humans gave me juice that took all of my dinner out of my tummy. If she thinks I’m going to play the treat digging up game again anytime soon, she can think again.

Talisker

Advice on paw cover purchase

I have never thought of myself as a fashion icon. I tend to just go with the flow and wear whatever Mummy puts on me, although I have to admit that there are times that I have not been too pleased with her choices. The angel wings and halo at Halloween 10 human years ago come immediately to mind.

I have sore paws right now so Mummy went to the kennel that our food comes from and came out with paw covers for me which really surprised me. When Mummy needs paw covers she can’t get them from the kennel at the end of our road where she gets human food. She has to go a place called Nordstrom. I think she should get her paw covers from the kennel where she gets our food because Daddy was really happy when he saw my paw covers but he’s not happy when Mummy brings her paw covers home from Nordstrom.

Bowmore

The Magic Box

As a young pup I was very athletic. Frisbee catching was my specialty and I could still keep up with the best until a couple of years ago, but as everyone knows, we athletes wear our bodies out so it takes some work to keep active as we get old. My legs don’t work as well as they used to so Mummy takes me to a place where nice ladies play with me to make them work better.

First we do what they call warm-up exercises, but I think some are just an excuse to cuddle me (I don’t want to boast but female humans have always been quite attracted to me).

The most fun is saved for last. I get in a magic box that fills with water. The bottom moves and then I get to chase a ball which has always been one of my favorite sports but I don’t find it too easy outside the magic box anymore.

Of course the best part is that Talisker has to just sit quietly and watch.

Bowmore

Ungrateful humans don't get help

I thought I would write for the big guy today. Water has stopped falling out of the sky and Mummy put the sofas back in the room with no walls so Bowmore is busy retraining them not to escape.

When the water stops falling and everything gets bright and warm, Mummy makes some of the plants really small. Apparently they have to be made small so that they can get big. I find this very confusing. Some of them, Mummy digs up and puts in the big box behind the gate in the place I’m not allowed to go (I sneak in sometimes when she’s not watching – there’s lots of really good smells there).

I always like to be helpful and last year Mummy dug up only a few of the plants in the tall plant box in the middle of the garden. She obviously hadn’t had the time to dig up the rest and digging is one of my favorite hobbies so when Daddy let us out for our morning sniff the following day, I decided to give Mummy a big surprise for when she came downstairs and dug the rest of them up for her. I have come to the conclusion that she obviously has control issues and can’t accept help from others because she was REALLY ungrateful. This year I am definitely not helping. I am going to stay here by the flowers in the room with no walls and watch from a safe distance.

Talisker

Humans don't eat gold treats

Every year at this time, Mummy gets together with her friends, they put bird fur around their necks and drink strange colored falling over juice while they watch humans on the moving picture frame being given gold colored treats. For appearances, last Sunday I decided to join in with the bird fur thing since Mummy’s friend was kind enough to invite us, although I have to say, I felt pretty stupid.

Let me describe the gold treat gathering ritual. It’s a very confusing piece of human behavior to watch. The male humans dress like little birds found in very cold lands, and the female humans wrap their legs together with brightly colored fabric, put all their fur on the top of their heads and hang very shiny collars around their necks. They then try to see who can hold the most gold treats which they get really excited about and this is the part I find confusing. If these treats are so good, why don’t they eat them instead of just holding them?

Bowmore

Good dogs deserve good humans

Sometimes we need a reminder of how lucky we are to have good humans to take care of and that where we live there is a good welfare state to feed less fortunate cousins and help them find their own humans to love.

Last summer our humans visited Mummy's litter mate and her pack at their kennel in Portugal. There, dogs with no humans are not so fortunate and have to steal to survive. A few days before our humans arrived, a little guy who was too young to take care of himself saw the human puppies in their garden and thought they looked like guys he would like to take care of. He was very hungry and full of itchy stuff, so Mummy's litter mate put him in water to make him fluffy again and gave him a good meal. He was very grateful so did his best to help entertain the human puppies who in return named him Toggle. Of course, we all know how important that is. When a human gives you a name, this is a sign that they have chosen you to contribute towards their wellbeing.

Mummy's pack have always shown exceptional gratitude for the care given to them by our cousins and Mummy's litter mate decided that Toggle deserved to live in a land where life is good for dogs. First, he had to have juice so he didn't get sick and couldn't go there until the doctor said it was working, so she found a nice place for him to stay with lots of friends to play with and a hole in the ground with water to learn to swim in.

Two weeks ago Toggle started his long adventure from Portugal to London. The humans who helped him get there put pictures on the writing box so we could all see what a good time he was having. Looking at this picture I feel that I have to point out that his human companions wrote that he wrapped his leash around the post because he was a country dog not accustomed to the art of staying attached to a human, but I know better. It's just funny to watch humans try to unwind us.

Toggle has now started his new life in London taking care of friends of Mummy's litter mate whose human puppies were all playing together when he first saw them. It makes me happy to know that against all odds, this brave little dog who truly deserves good humans, found them.

Bowmore

Make sure your humans are properly tagged

I recently learnt that while we were in Tahoe playing in the white slippy stuff, there was a big gathering of humans in Canada finding out which of them could slide down hills the fastest. When I finished writing on Sunday I watched them on the moving picture frame with Mummy. I can only surmise that there, falling over juice is not administered on the moving sofas as they slide down the hills a lot faster and in a much straighter line than the place our humans go to.

The fastest humans are very valuable so they put big human tags on their collars to make sure they are returned to the correct place if they get lost. Of course this does make me realize that we don’t have our humans properly tagged. I need to find out how I can rectify this situation. They may not be valuable to other dogs but they are very valuable to us.

Bowmore