Bad Tricks

Yesterday was a bad day.  I was tricked, and not just once.

First up was Mummy.  She put our walking harnesses on and let us climb into her motorized dog carrier.  We hadn’t been out yet so of course came to the natural assumption that we were going somewhere fun for a really good sniff.  She then stopped outside the kennel where we meet our doctor and took us inside and tried to get me to stand on the evil black mat with flashing numbers on it.  I don’t like that mat.  Last time we had to stand on it, Mummy cut our breakfast in half so I refused to get on it.  One of the female humans at the kennel put a particularly tasty looking snack on the mat.  Well, of course I had to go and investigate and stupidly forgot about the evil mat.  Tricked again.

The next bit was pretty good.  Our doctor gave me a big hug, tickled my tummy and gave my legs a good squeeze.  I hardly even noticed when there was a little prick in my neck.  He said that was to stop me getting sick.  Then Talisker ruined it all.  He told our doctor that I smell bad.  I was then taken to another room where pieces of me were squeezed that no self-respecting dog should have squeezed.  Talisker’s was definitely the worst trick of them all.

Tobermory

Bugs

Mummy’s been particularly lazy for the last couple of days.  She’s spending longer than usual under the bird fur in the morning and then gets back under it as soon as she’s finished her dinner.  She says she has a bug inside her.  I don’t understand why that should make her lethargic.  Tobermory eats bugs all the time so must have lots inside him and I haven’t noticed any decrease in his energy level.  I think Mummy is really making excuses for consuming too much of the big bird that we thanked for letting us eat it last Thursday.  We all felt sleepy after that.

Talisker

The Forever Collar

Today I got my “forever” collar.  It’s really cool.  It’s made of cow skin and looks just like Talisker’s.  He says it’s a privilege to be given this special collar.  It means our humans have decided it’s time for me to be a trusted member of the family.  He did, however, give me a list of things that this trust entails:

1.       No more grabbing Mummy’s socks out of her running shoes and making her chase me around the house for them.

2.       No more digging holes in the green stuff that covers the garden.

3.       No more eating base boards or windowsills.

4.       No more shouting in the morning when I’m bored and want the humans to get out of their bird fur and come and play with me.

5.       No more eating bits of the motorized dog carriers.

6.       No more eating Mummy’s plants.

In my defense I would like to address each of these:

1.       Sock chasing is a game and Mummy obviously enjoys it.  You can tell this by the squeals she makes while she’s chasing me.

2.       There are evil things under the green stuff in the garden and I am merely attempting catch and destroy tactics to protect our humans from them.  I have to admit that I have not had much success, but I know they’re down there.

3.       If the humans gave me more elk horns, I wouldn’t need to eat the kennel.

4.       Oh come on … they sleep way too long.

5.       Please see answer 3.

6.       They taste good, so what’s your point.

I think I’ve defended myself adequately.  Do I get to keep the cow skin collar?

Tobermory

Cold Trees

it’s getting cold outside our kennel and the sun has started going to bed early.    Our coats are getting thicker to keep us warm, but humans aren’t very furry so they have to wear body covers made of sheep fur.

 

There is one thing that concerns me.  The fur on some of the trees in our garden is turning from green to brown and they have started shedding.  I asked Talisker if they would be growing thicker coats like us to keep them warm.  He told me they have gone to sleep until the sun has decided to stay up later again and don’t need fur when they’re asleep.  This doesn’t make sense to me as I need my fur to keep me warm when I sleep.  I’m worried that the trees are going to get cold.

Tobermory

The Art of Begging

Every year, there is one day when our humans like to humiliate us by dressing us up in silly outfits and making us walk around town with other dogs who are also being subjected to the same indignity.  This year was no exception and I did of course, inform Mummy precisely what I thought of putting us through this torture.  Tobermory didn’t seem to be too disturbed by it, but he wasn’t made to wear wings and a halo.  He was at least kind enough to help me remove the halo and eat it when our humans weren’t watching.

 A couple of days later, human puppies dress up in disguises and when the sun has gone to bed, they visit other kennels in their neighborhood and beg for treats.  It always amazes me how successful they are when I observe their lack of begging skill.

The art of a good beg is to get humans to give you food without apparently asking for it.  Human puppies seem to have success by using intimidation tactics.  They travel in packs and threaten to do bad things to the adult humans if they don’t get treats.  I feel there are some double standards in operation here.  If Tobermory and I used a tactic like that, not only would we get no treats, but we would very quickly find ourselves shut in the kitchen on a time out.

Talisker

Kids will be Kids

It’s always fun to go somewhere new with our humans.  Last weekend we went to Cambria which is a very long way away.  Our humans wanted to take the motorized dog carrier with no roof.  I like riding in it on short adventures when you can put your nose in the air and enjoy all the wonderful smells but for long trips it’s a little cramped, not aided by Tobermory constantly wriggling, trying to stand on his head and whining “are we there yet”.

Thankfully, Mummy needs regular feeding so we stopped half way at a place called Fernwood Resort to stretch our legs and do a bit of sniffing.  It's pretty cool.  There are lots of really tall trees which humans like to sleep under in little fabric kennels.  There's a human feeding station that served our humans a bread Frisbee with cheese and chicken on it which they seemed to be particularly happy with.  We did try a little and I have to admit, it was pretty tasty.

Usually when we go on adventures, we stay in big kennels for displaced humans and have to keep them on leashes when we leave our room.   This was different.  The kennel was smaller but we weren’t confined to our room and our humans didn’t have their food brought to them on tables with wheels.  They cooked pieces of cow on a box with fire and squashed potatoes in a big pot.  We of course helped to clear up.
 
The best part was that our friend Truman and his humans were there too.  He brought his cousins, Gucci and Zoe.  They’re really small and come from a land where humans wear big round hats and eat food with lots of beans in it.  Security isn’t their big thing, but they are very good at sitting on humans to hold them down.

Of course, when you get a couple of kids like Tobermory and Truman together who insist on playing extreme wrestling, there’s always some kind of damage.  Usually, something in one our kennels is the casualty, but this time it was one of Truman’s teeth.  I told them that if they kept head butting each other with full force there would be tears.  Maybe they’ll listen to a little adult wisdom next time.

Talisker

Giants vs Cardinals

I think you all know that at this time of year humans get very serious about playing fetch which I find really quite amusing when you consider how inept they are at it.

 

There are a bunch of giants in San Francisco who are particularly keen on playing fetch.  Last night they won a very important game which I feel was more than a little one sided.  Their opposition were cardinals.  Am I the only one who thinks that it is unfair to expect a load of red birds to have any chance of winning when pitted against super-sized humans?

 

Talisker

Dead Heading

Some of the green things in our garden have brightly colored bits on the ends.  It’s really fun to grab them and pull them off, but Mummy gets really angry with me when I do it.

 

Today I caught Mummy pulling the ends off the plants.  She says it’s called dead heading and is really important because then the green things get more colored bits.  If it’s so important, I don’t understand why she gets so angry with me when I do it.  I think Mummy’s just trying to save all the fun for herself.

Tobermory

The Three Amigos

The Three Amigos gallop into sight through the dust clouds of the plains, ready to thwart the invasion planned by killer squirrels threatening to change the human world as they know it …

OK, so I let my imagination run away with me.  We were just spending Saturday hanging out with Truman at his kennel while our humans were at our doctor's pairing ceremony.  However, I believe that given the opportunity we could make an awesome trio of super-canines, ridding the world of evil.

Talisker

Mascots

Having turned one human year, Tobermory is now mature enough to take on more of my security detail at this kennel.  He can sometimes be a little too diligent at warning about potential threats, but overall has taken his studies seriously so deserves to be given a little more responsibility.

Our humans are part of a big group of other humans, many from far away lands, who like to help those less fortunate than they are.  Every two human years they take it in turn to visit each other’s lands and this year they all gathered in San Francisco.  It’s very important to make those who don’t have kennels here feel welcome, so our humans offered to spend a couple of days introducing them to some of their favorite falling over juice kennels in Napa and Sonoma.  It’s a good time of year to visit because there’s lots to look at.  This is when all the little bunches of round things jump off their plants and climb into big machines that squeeze out the juice that goes into big barrels before magically turning into falling over juice.  Trefethen is a really old falling over juice kennel so our guests got to see a really old squeezing machine.

Since we are now splitting our security duties, I thought we should spend our newly acquired spare time helping out.  Sometimes, when all these humans get together, they wear big red body covers with white crosses on them.  Having always felt that we should be respectful when acting as ambassadors for our land, Mummy was kind enough to make us scarves to blend in with them.  One of Daddy’s friends said we were their “mascots.”  I’ve never been a mascot before but it would appear the job entails a lot of human herding.   They are particularly disobedient when removed from their usual environment so trying to get them onto large motorized multiple human carriers is really quite tiring work.  We were really very relieved when we arrived at Stag’s Leap Wine Cellars and several humans took on the job of herding the humans so that we could take a nap.  This must be a popular place to rest as Mummy found a couple of bears sleeping on some falling over juice containers.  They were obviously taking a break from human herding too.

I have to admit that being a mascot is quite fun for a short time, but I think I will keep my regular job as Chief of Security.

Talisker

Striding for Stroke

It’s always important to help others and even better if you can enjoy doing it.

 

Yesterday we went on our trot to help Peninsula Stroke Association.  It was really exciting.  As well as the trotters, there were lots of humans on unmotorized human carriers, most with two and some with three wheels.  The guys on the three wheeled ones were lying down.  I like to take a lot of naps so I can see the advantage of riding one of these where all you have to do is stop and immediately be in the nap position.

 

There were so many humans that numbers had to be pinned to them so that they didn’t get lost.  We of course have the advantage of wearing tags, and when we were little our doctor pricked us with a big needle, after which if a special wand is waved over us it says where we live.  Humans should think about doing the same thing.  I would really not feel secure with a paper number pinned to me.

 

The day was a great success.   Our team, dressed in yellow body covers was made up of many humans whose brains had fallen out, some of whom were in chairs with wheels and their kennel mates came along to help out.  Our friends gave around 22,000 green dog biscuit vouchers to encourage us which we are extremely grateful for.  However, we still need a little more to reach our goal of 25,000.  If you would like to help us reach this goal, go to https://co.clickandpledge.com/advanced/default.aspx?wid=55608 and it would make our tails wag really wildly and would help a lot more humans whose brains have jumped out of their heads.

Talisker

Hangovers

My litter mate, Kihei and I turned one last week so this weekend Talisker and our humans threw a big party for us.  There were 4 other fish retrievers, 2 little kids called Apollo and Jake and a couple of older local girls, Ginger and her sister, who Talisker has had his eye on for a while.  Truman joined us to help teach the little guys correct fetch etiquette, and then there were three smaller dogs, but they were more interested in sitting on top of their humans.  They were obviously concerned they might escape.

The best bit was that Mummy made us cake.  They were special dog cakes with good stuff in them like carrots and sticky stuff that bees make. Talisker ate a lot and did all sorts of things that he doesn’t usually do, like humans when they drink too much falling over juice.

Sometimes, the day after our humans have their friends over to our kennel to drink falling over juice, ours complain about having something they call a “hangover.”  They’re kind of sluggish, we have difficulty getting them off their bed, Daddy lies on the sofa watching humans on the moving picture frame hit little white balls with long sticks and as for throwing balls for us to play fetch, well forget about that.

I think the cake must have given Talisker a hangover because he was really sluggish the next day.  I have to admit to feeling a little low on energy myself.

Tobermory

 

Help us Help Mummy

10 years ago, long before I was born my older brother, Bowmore told me about when Mummy’s brain fell out.  This is a condition that humans call Stroke.

Our humans went out one day on San Francisco Bay to play chase in floating human carriers, but Daddy came back without Mummy.  A lot of humans don’t know this, but we sense what humans are thinking and he was obviously very unhappy.  Daddy is bad about never putting Mummy on a leash so Bowmore thought she must have got lost somewhere as he went out every day for a long time, Bowmore assumed to search for her.

Mummy wasn’t lost.  She was at a special kennel that helps humans get their brains to climb back in their heads so that it can tell their bodies what to do again.  Brains get forgetful when they fall out so when Mummy came home, it was still learning how to tell her body what to do.  Daddy had to move her around in a chair with wheels for a long time.

Mummy is lucky that her brain works much better now, but it took a lot of hard work for her to retrain it.  When it fell out, not many humans understood what was happening.  Mummy therefore likes to support those who teach others about this subject and help humans who are Stroke victims learn how to retrain their brains.  To do this, it takes a lot of the same green paper that Mummy exchanges for dog biscuits.

In a little over 2 weeks on September 16^th, other humans are going to give Mummy green paper to run and walk 5K to help Peninsula Stroke Association.  Tobermory and I have decided to help out too so we are going to join her and take Daddy along for some exercise, but we need green paper to be able to participate.  We would be grateful for any support you can give us to help Mummy.  We have of course entered under the team name of Whisky Dogs at www.psastroke.org.

Talisker

Maintaining your Figure

My dearly departed older brother, Bowmore always told me that it’s important to exercise regularly, eat sensibly, maintain a healthy weight and visit your doctor to get the juice that stops us from getting sick.  I have to admit to being a little skeptical about the juice because my nose gets a little warm and dry for a couple of days afterwards, but Mummy tells me that means it’s working.

Yesterday I had my annual medical review.  I consider myself to be a pretty fine specimen of a fish retriever so of course assumed that I would pass with flying colors.  I’m pleased to say that my general health is good, but our doctor said my waistline needs a little work.

When Daddy is not away in far away lands, he always gives us breakfast which is really good because he gives us more than Mummy.  For a while now, he’s been earning dog biscuits at our kennel and gives us breakfast every day so it’s been a while since we’ve had to survive on the meager rations that we get when he’s not here.  Of course, we never pointed out that we were getting more food.  It’s a matter of survival.  After all, you never know when something bad might happen and all the kibble reserves dry up.  We would then be thankful for having eaten a little more when there was a plentiful supply.  Apparently, our doctor doesn’t understand this.  Can you believe he’s put me on a diet?

Talisker

A Letter Home

Dear Mom, Dad and my Boy

I just wanted to let you know that I’m OK.  Talisker explained to me that you had to chase the evil black bags with wheels that ran away with your body covers.  At first I was a little upset that you didn’t have faith enough in my tracking instincts to help out, but after Talisker and Tobermory’s humans showed me a picture of all the water that the bags had taken you to, I now understand that you were protecting me from having to face my biggest fear.

Security is a tough job at this kennel.  There’s always a human here and a lot of potential threats walk past which need to be barked at.  This leaves very little time to practice the art of sofa restraint, but I have managed to squeeze a little in and help Tobermory with his technique.

In return, Tobermory has taught me to play crocodiles.  Talisker says he’s very pleased because he’s bored of playing it and Tobermory is quite obsessed with the game.  I have to admit to being on Tobermory’s side on this point.

The boys have taken me with their humans to a couple of human feeding stations to educate me on the finer points of bread tasting.  I would like to point out that I definitely need more practice as I am not sure that I can yet fully appreciate the subtle differences between sourdough and classic French baguette.

Although I’m having fun, I hope you catch the evil black bags soon so that I can return to our kennel.  I really don’t like having to eat my food fast so that the others don’t eat it, and although Tobermory has been very good about letting me sleep in his big bed and is sleeping on his travel bed, I would much rather be sleeping with my Boy.

Sending you lots of  big licks.

Truman

Hospitality

It’s always important to be hospitable to friends in need.  It would appear that ours is not the only kennel in our neighborhood that suffers from being inhabited by evil black boxes with wheels that run away with the human occupants’ body covers.  Our friend, Truman also suffers from this plague.  Of course, his humans couldn’t resist the temptation to chase after them when they ran away last week so he was left at their kennel with only the company of an ill-tempered elderly female mouse catcher who takes great pleasure in giving him what Daddy calls “the silent treatment”.  I understand that females of all species seem to be particularly fond of using this kind of torture.

We of course told Truman that he could come and hang out with us until his humans return.  I have usually only seen him in the sporting setting of playing fetch so it has been interesting to see another side of him.  It turns out that he is an expert in the art of sofa restraint.   He gets to practice more than us as his boy spends a lot of time at a human learning kennel and his big humans are out most days earning dog biscuits, so his security duties are substantially less.  There are also fewer potential threats walking past his kennel and of course there is a sofa in front of a big viewing window so he can conduct his security duties whilst practicing his art.

I would like to think that I could one day reach Truman’s level of sofa restraint expertise but with his father being a lion hunter, he has size on his side.  As fish retrievers, Tobermory and I will just have to accept that we have to practice sofa restraint in pairs.

Talisker

Ear Take-off

Humans are really very creative, especially when it comes to inventive things to make our lives fun.  Some of my favorites are the flying squirrel which is a special kind of Frisbee, the ball chucker and, well I suppose any kind of ball, regardless of how it’s thrown is pretty fun.

There is one invention that tops them all and that is the motorized dog carrier without a roof.  I don't think our humans really enjoy riding in it as they cower behind the window at the front.  It's very selfless of them keeping one for our benefit as with such little noses, mouths and ears they obviously can’t fully appreciate all the wonderful smells or the euphoric sensation of achieving full jowl and ear take-off.

Talisker

Levitation

Tobermory is getting really quite good at his security duties.  He spends a lot of time on the viewing platform on the stairs in our kennel.  He’s very enthusiastic but still has to learn what a real threat is as his warning barks are a little too frequent.  On the positive side, this is giving me more time to spend on the writing box furthering my human studies.

I recently learnt about an art practiced by humans called levitation.  This is when something with no legs stands up.  Some think that if they stare at the thing long enough, their brain will make it levitate.

Every year our humans go to a falling over juice kennel called Schug in Sonoma to eat strange red fish that are cooked in a big pot with lots of vegetables and sausages.  I tried a bit of one last year.  It tasted pretty good but when there are plenty of good fishes with soft skins it seems like the humans go to a ridiculous amount of effort to get the skins off these ones.  We couldn’t even eat the skins when they were finished with them.

I am pleased to say that there was quite a lot of bread.  It sat on the end of the table so I told Tobermory to help me try out levitation to get the bread off the table and jump into our mouths.  You know, if you stare at bread for long enough, it actually works?  Daddy did help it, but I didn’t see anything in the levitation instructions that said you can’t use your brain to make a human move bread to where you want it to be.

Talisker

Cows with Long Fur

I like cows.  I’ve never met one but they look really friendly on the writing box.  There are supposed to be a lot of them in Sonoma so when we were last there I tried really hard to find one to bring home but I think they must have all been hiding.

Our humans have just returned from chasing the evil black boxes with wheels.   Mummy always takes a lot of pictures so that we can see where they’ve been.  They met lots of cows and it would appear that they come in different shapes and sizes.

The first pictures were of the land where there are funny little plants with 3 leaves and the humans are very small and wear green.  The cows there look pretty much the same as the ones I’ve seen pictures of in Sonoma, however in the land where male humans wear skirts they look completely different.  They have really long fur and the big cows don’t seem to have any eyes.  I really like the little ones.  I couldn’t see from the picture of one what the price tag in its ear said, but it must have been really expensive or I’m sure Mummy would have brought it back to our kennel for me.

Tobermory

Neglect

We’re feeling just a little neglected.  Mummy has been too busy to give us the attention we’re used to.  It started in May.  My big brother, Bowmore told me that 10 years ago her brain fell out.  They must have managed to put it back because it seems to work pretty well now.  She likes to help other humans whose brains fell out and May is the month when she is particularly busy with that task.  I admire her for her dedication, but it’s extremely difficult to get any attention from her and dramatically reduces our neighborhood sniff time which is particularly important if we are to conduct our security duties effectively.  She also takes her writing box with her which has seriously stifled our creativity.

The neglect didn’t stop there.  As soon as she’d finished with her brain falling out stuff, the evil black boxes with wheels came out.  Tobermory hadn’t seen them before so I had to explain that their sole purpose in life is to steal our humans’ body covers and run away with them.  They are very difficult to catch and it takes a long time to bring them back to the kennel so other humans have to take care of us while ours are away.

Tobermory suggested a blocking tactic.  He seemed to think that if we spread out on the viewing platform on the stairs, the black boxes wouldn’t be able to get to the door.  I thought it worth a try, but then a nice human stopped by and offered to take us for a sniff.  Having not been able to perform this important task much for a while, we of course jumped at the opportunity.  Big mistake.  When we got back, the evil black boxes were gone and our humans had obviously chased after them.

I think I may have found a solution to this problem for the future.  We have collars that bite us when we go too far from the kennel without our humans.  If they put those collars on the black boxes, it would stop them from escaping and then our humans wouldn’t have to leave us to chase after them.

Talisker

Birthday Parties are Fun

Last week we had a really fun gathering at our kennel.  I have not been able to stop wagging my tail in anticipation of telling everyone about it, but Mummy’s writing box came back from rehab and seemed to have forgotten how to do everything.  She says it’s really clean but had to go through some intensive retraining before it could help me write.

The gathering was to celebrate Talisker turning four human years.  It’s called a Birthday Party.  He invited lots of really cool dudes to play fetch and run races around our garden.  I’ve met some of them before.  Talisker’s BFF, Truman came along with our swimming friends, Pumbaa and Austin.  We also made some new friends, Denim, Raiden and Rusty.  They’re fish retrievers like us.  We know their humans because they have a falling over juice kennel called Testarossa that our humans like to hang out at.  I like their crackers.

Talisker insisted on inviting some girls, Baby G, Layla and Olive.  I did try to have a conversation with Olive but she was only interested on talking about lame girl stuff with Layla.  Baby G however, was particularly keen on playing fetch with us but got a little demanding when we didn’t give her the ball.  Talisker says girls can be like that.  I don’t know why he likes them but he says I’ll understand when I’m older.

I want to have a Birthday Party too, but Mummy says I have to wait until I turn one which is really unfair.  That’s a whole four months away.

Tobermory

Tobermory's First Swimming Lesson

Last Saturday was a particularly hot day and my friends, Austin and Pumbaa kindly invited us over to cool off in their hole in the ground with water.

It’s a rite of passage of every fish retriever to learn to swim, so it was a little nostalgic taking my little brother for his first lesson at the place where I started.  Austin and Pumbaa were kind enough to leave us alone until Tobermory got his water legs.

I’m really proud of that kid.  I had human help from Austin and Pumbaa’s human brother when I learnt to swim, but Daddy just dropped Tobermory in the water and he got it straight away.  I of course had to give him a few pointers on floating frisby retrieval and most importantly some tips on diving technique but he shows all the signs of being a natural.

We finished the day with Pumbaa joining us in the water while Bowmore’s old friend, Austin gave us a few tips on formation swimming.

Talisker

They made it go to rehab and it went ...

Mummy and Daddy have had writing boxes in the past that have experimented with falling over juice and they have learnt that it really isn’t very good for them, but Daddy has always managed to stage an intervention early before the problem got too bad and got them dried out.  This is a term also used for humans who have a problem with falling over juice.

My research has shown that famous, beautiful looking humans seem to be prone to falling over juice problems which is why I was not surprised when Mummy’s new writing box fell victim to this affliction as it is particularly sleek and shiny.  It hit rock bottom last week.

Tobermory and I were relaxing with Daddy in his writing box room when we heard a shriek from Mummy.  Her writing box had consumed her entire glass of falling over juice.  I think she was annoyed because she hadn’t tried any of it herself and we all know that writing boxes just don’t appreciate good falling over juice.

Daddy leapt into action to commence the drying out process but after a couple of days decided that it needed professional help and should be sent to rehab.  It must have been feeling really sick because it showed absolutely no resistance when Mummy put it in a writing box carrier and sent it on its way.

In the meantime, Mummy went to visit the writing box retirement home in our kennel to see if one would help her out for a couple of weeks.  Quite a few of them live there.  They spend their days sleeping and reading old National Geographics’.

One writing box did volunteer for the job and I would like to say that it did it willingly, but man, is that guy causing problems.  It refuses to do anything the way we do it now and goes on strike and refuses to work at all at regular intervals.  I hope Mummy’s writing box comes back from rehab soon because my ears are starting to hurt from listening to the fights she’s having with this old dude.

Talisker

Ear Maintenance

Mummy has a sore ear. I know all about sore ears and the key to avoiding this problem is good ear maintenance.  Regular cleaning is the key and Daddy is particularly good at it.  I lie on the sofa and Mummy holds my nose still while he pours special juice in each ear and then he pulls the flap over and gives it a rub.  After this I sit up and give my head a good shake to bring the sore making stuff up to where Daddy can help little sticks with fluffy tips grab it.

The secret is definitely in the shake and this is where humans are at a disadvantage.  If Mummy lay on the sofa so that Daddy could administer the special juice and then had big flappy ears to shake, it would definately help her ear problem.  Of course, trying to hold onto a little human nose to keep her still could be a bit of an issue.

Talisker

Mr Dandy Lion

Today Mummy took a spikey stick out to our garden and started digging up plants with fluffy tops.  Talisker says she always does that when it’s warm outside and is waging war on a lion called Dandy.

I didn’t know what a lion was so did a little research on the writing box and discovered that it is a really big cat that likes to eat puppies like me, but I couldn’t find any mention of why digging up little plants with fluffy tops would scare one away.  I can only assume that Mr Dandy Lion likes them and Mummy is protecting me by removing them so that he has no reason to come here.

Tobermory

Teeth Scratchers

Daddy’s not very pleased with me and it’s really not my fault.

Mummy was hungry so Daddy took her to a human feeding station that wouldn’t let us come in so we had to wait in the motorized dog carrier.  Talisker wanted a nap so delegated to me the duty of keeping guard on Daddy’s seat.  It was pretty boring and my new teeth started to itch.  I really needed to chew something.  A bone would have been my preference but there wasn’t one at paw’s reach.  Having been given such a responsible task, I felt it would be negligent of me to leave my post so had a look around where I was sitting to see if something else would do the job.

When the motorized dog carrier is moving, Daddy holds onto a round thing in front of his seat that has a load of sticks behind it.  There seemed to be quite a few of them so I didn’t think he’d miss just one.  At first bite it just crunched and really wasn’t very satisfying, but once I got through the black crunchy stuff it was way more interesting.  There were lots of colored strings which once bitten through had lots of gold stiff fuzzy stuff.  Now, this was what I was looking for.  It really helped my itchy teeth.



Here is where I really don’t understand Daddy’s annoyance.  He claims that the stick had a very useful purpose.  There are skinny black tails that wag all over the glass to throw water off when it’s falling out of the sky, and it was that stick’s task to tell the tails when to wag.  They’re the ones outside getting wet so why do they need a stick inside in the dry to tell them it’s time to do their job?

Tobermory